Not Good Enough
by Puldoh
Summary: <html><head></head>It started out normally, a peaceful patrol, teasing brothers, chasing, laughing...and it's changed in an instance...impacting the family mentally, physically and emotionally as they struggle to overcome what happened. DEDICATED TO SIVANSHEMESH!</html>
1. Ambush

DUDE! Totally got this bunny from SivanShemesh, so thanks to you this story is here! LOL, I couldn't help but develop this bunny into a story! It was awesome, so this is totally dedicated to you! Thankies! :)

* * *

><p>Mikey and his brothers were out on patrol. He was enjoying the nice cool crisp air, the light from the full moon, and just the peacefulness of the night. It was nice. He loved looking at everything, and how the light from the moon reflected on objects, giving some objects an ethereal vibe.<p>

It was giving him nice inspirations for his sketchbook. He suddenly felt something hit the back of his head and he turned, annoyed from his view of the city to glare at Raph, "What Raph?" he asked, huffing slightly.

"I've been callin' you for like 2 minutes, wha' goin' on in that pea brained head of yours?" Raph asked with a smirk.

Mikey glared but said, "I was looking at the moonlight, and how everything is reflecting from it, creating shadows and causing almost a glowing vibe to everything…" he said, ending with a smile. He loved the art he could see in everything.

Don was shocked, and his eyes widened at Mikey's words, "Wow Mikey…I didn't know you even thought such things."

Mikey scowled, hearing Raph laugh, and replied, "Of course I do! I sketch Donnie. If I couldn't see the beauty in what I see, it would be awfully hard for me to get inspired to draw…" he said explained, before his smile turned into a smirk, face towards Raph, "Of course, looking at Raph, it would make me draw nightmares."

He heard Raph's signature growl, and darted off laughing, hearing his voice, "Get back here you little shit!"

Mikey smirked, "Aw com'n Raphie, that was like too easy!" he said with a smile, jumping to an adjacent building.

Leo sighed, running after his brothers, "For once, I would have liked to enjoy that conversation with Mikey. It's not often he actually gets poetic on us," he said to Don.

Don nodded, running beside Leo, taking their time, "Yeah….it is unusual for Mikey to actually act like that, but what he said about Raph was funny."

**"LEO!" the scream echoing over the rooftop, full of panic and fear.**

Leo's head shot out, his head toward Raph's voice. They ran faster, heart beating as they saw their brothers up ahead, and Mikey was on the ground, blood surrounded his head.

Raph had been shot in the arm, and was fighting against some Purple Dragons. Leo and Don quickly fought them off. Don ran to Mikey and Raph, throwing Raph a pressure bandage, "Put pressure on it!" he said slightly panicked, seeing Mikey's pale face, a bullet wound across the side of the head, and another in his leg.

He immediately started to put pressure on the bullet wound in the leg, noticing it was pulsating blood, and knew it was bad. "We gotta get him to the lair," he said, "And someone call April, I need some help….I have to do surgery, he's losing too much blood."

Raph was pale, eyes wide as he watched Don work on Mikey. "H…he's g..goin' ta be okay?...R..right?" he asked, shaking, his own would was slowing and Leo had one hand on it, applying additional pressure, his other hand on his cell, talking with April and telling her to bring medical supplies and stuff to the lair as soon as possible.

Don glanced up, finishing wrapping the very deep wound in Mikey's head, flinching when he saw muscle…and some scalp. He knew it was bad, possible brain damage, possible death.

"He's going to be fine…I just need to do some surgery," Don said, trying to force himself to speak calmly as he turned his attention to the wound in Mikey's leg, not liking how pale and cold Mikey's skin was turning.

"He's going into shock, is Raph able to move?" Don asked Leo.

Leo nodded, "Yes, it stopped bleeding, but he's getting a little…" he glanced at Raph, seeing the strange blankness in his eyes, "I think he hit his head or something…he just stopped talking."

Don bit his lip, and gently picked up Mikey, "Use the remote, get the Battle Shell. We need it here now!" Leo nodded, picking up his own remote for the van and pushed the button that drove the car by homing signal to their location.

He picked up Raph by the arm, slinging his arm over his shoulder, and started after Donnie. He was worried and angry with himself. He had no idea what had happened and was pissed his brothers got hurt.

They went home as fast as possible...

* * *

><p>3 hours later:<p>

Don was shaking with adrenaline and fear. He poured over the data, tried to find a way to figure out the impact of Mikey's wound to the head. He was very worried. They worked for 3 hours, stabilizing his brothers, giving them some stored blood just for these instances.

He stepped out of the room, hands shaking slightly as he tried to counteract the adrenaline leaving his system, causing him to crash.

"Donnie…how are they?" Casey said, concerned, standing. He was no good in the medical room, but he was able to make coffee for Donnie.

He handed over the cup, helping Don into a chair. Since Splinter died last year, he had done a lot of growing up himself, becoming more serious and careful when out. He even started wearing a bullet proof vest with how dangerous the criminals have been lately, donning guns.

Don sighed, hands shaking slightly, "I…I've been better. Raph will be fine. He just lost a lot of blood combined with a blow to the head, kind of made his blank out for awhile. He started coming around when we gave him some saline and electrolyte juice."

"And Mike?" he asked, remembered seeing April earlier, looking pale and shaky, as she ran from the lair to get some additional materials.

"Mike is different….he got a head wound to the head, plus one to the leg…" Don broke off, trying to sort out his scattered thoughts. "The bullet passed through his thigh, breaking past muscle and tissue…wrecking a few tendons, but I managed to do some minor surgery on it. It should heal…he may have a slight limp…I'm not sure until he wakes up…" he said, trailing off.

Casey absorbed this information, slowly, trying to see if there is anything he needed to figure out until he realized Don left out the head wound. "What about tha bullet that hit his head?" he asked bluntly.

Don shuddered briefly before he took a deep long drink of his coffee. He spoke softly, "His head wound was deep, passing through skin, muscle and tissue…and a graze along his skull didn't help matters…" he broke off, his voice shaky, "There was pressure in the brain…we had to drill….to relieve the pressure…it was so bad…I…I.." and he broke off, finally giving into his emotions, and started to cry.

Casey frowned, and put a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't know how to comfort the turtle. He frowned, seeing eyes on him, and caught Leo's eyes, who had been watching while Don explained everything.

Leo walked over, and immediately pulled Don into his arms, letting him cry.

Don finally pulled away, glancing up, "I..I don't know what kind of damage he might have…not until he wakes up."

Leo frowned, "Whatever happens, we will deal with it."

Don nodded, gaining strength from Leo, and spoke so softly, "He might be disabled…mentally…I…I just don't know…not until he wakes."

Leo sighed, "Then we'll wait until he wakes up."


	2. I'm scared of the Dark

They took turns, sitting in the medical room, wondering how Mikey was going to come out of this. Raph had finally regained consciousness a few hours after midnight, his first words was, "Is Mike a'right?"

Don hesitated and said, "I don't know yet…he hasn't regained consciousness….the wound along the head was bad though," he said sighing.

Raph groaned, laying back down suddenly realizing his body hurt, and he felt very tired. "Uh…what's wron' wit me?" he asked, his arm throbbing. Glancing at it, he saw it was covered with gauze.

"You were shot…so was Mikey…you'll be fine. You lost a lot of blood and you were going into shock, combined with a blow to the head, kinda sent you for a loop. You'll be fine," Don said quickly, explaining as he checked Raph's vitals.

"No concussion it looks like, but imagine your head is probably throbbing," he said, handing over a glass of water and some pills.

"Yeah, like a chainsaw against my brain," he muttered, taking the water and pills.

Don gave a small smile at the description and said, "Wait till the meds kick in, you'll feel better than," he said.

Raph nodded, and asked, "How long wuz I asleep?"

Leo spoke up, "About 5 hours… It's just after midnight…" he said.

Raph nodded, glancing over, seeing Mikey hooked up to a heart machine, covered in gauze. He frowned, wondering when he was going to wake up.

* * *

><p>3 days past by:<p>

Leo felt like he was going crazy. He really did. Every morning he would wake up, and the first thing he would do was check on his little brother. The answer was still the same, he still was unconscious. There was still a possibility of brain damage. There was still a possibility he might not wake up.

It drove him mad. To be so helpless, and he didn't know what to do. He tried practicing, only to falter on some Katas, and end up messing up when he tried sparring. He was distracted and worried.

Sighing, he tried to meditate, to get peace of mind, but even that was unachievable. He went back to the medical lab, seeing Raph going in there to get his bandages checked.

He decided to follow when he heard his name being shouted excitedly. He dashed forward, running into the room.

* * *

><p>Raph walked into the kitchen earlier, seeing Donnie making another pot of coffee. He sighed, knowing Don was under a lot of pressure because of Mikey's injuries, and that he hadn't waken up yet.<p>

"Hey Don…is it okay if I sit down wit Mike?" Raph asked quietly.

Don nodded, measuring his coffee, "Yes, it's fine Raph. I'll change your bandage while you're in there as well."

Raph nodded, and walked away, going inside.

He saw Mikey laying on the bed, strapped down because of seizures he had the first night, and a few odds ones here and there. He checked Mikey's blood pressure and heart beat on the monitor, actually understanding it, only because Don drilled it in their heads.

"Hey Mike, I wish you'd wake up. The lair ain't tha same wit out youse. Ya know, I even miss your pranks…" Raph said, holding Mikey's hand, "I just wish you'd wake up…Leo's messin' up in practice, and he don't like tha. And Donnie addicted ta coffee more than eva. Please…wake up," Raph said to his brother. He continued to talk while Don walked in with a smile.

Raph smiled back, but kept talking.

* * *

><p><em>Mikey felt strange, like he was in a deep thick fog, and he was lost within. He frowned, trying to recall how he got lost there, and called out for his brothers, for his family to come and help him. <em>

_No one came. _

_No one heard. _

_Everyone knew his fears: his fear of being alone, and his fear of his family dying, and his childhood fear of the dark. All those fears seem to be around him. _

_He shivered, wishing things were different. _

_Then suddenly, through the darkness and the fog, he could hear a voice. It took him a minute to recognize the voice. _

_It was Raphie!_

_Mikey felt like he jumped up, and started to run after the voice, knowing it was his brothers voice. He would be able to find a way home. _

_**Hey Mike, I wish you'd wake up. The lair ain't tha same wit out youse.**_

_See, I know that's Raph….ain't the same…Raph…you sound so sad…_

_**Ya know, I even miss your pranks…**_

_You miss my pranks! Dude, I have so many pranks still to give, don't worry bro, I'll be back! I just need to find a way home…_

_I'm lost bro, keep talking though, I'm getting closer, your voice is louder. _

_**I just wish you'd wake up…Leo's messin' up in practice, and he don't like tha. And Donnie addicted ta coffee more than evah. Please…wake up! We miss ya Mike…please come home**_

_Dude, I'm coming, I am, I'm almost there. _

Mikey whimpered in pain as the fog seem to fade away. There was still pain around him, his head hurt, throbbed and ached. His leg throbbed, and felt sore and aching.

He felt Raph's hand on his arm, a voice calling him, telling him to wake up. He groaned, shaking his head, he wanted to sleep, he was too tired, he just wanted sleep.

But he felt more voices.

He could remember them.

_Raphie_

_Donnie_

_Leo_

They were there, around him. Mikey moaned, and his eyes fluttered a few seconds, feeling like 100 pounds as he tried to open them. He finally succeeded only to see darkness.

"D..dude….tu..turn tha lights…on.." Mikey said weakly, wondering why his brothers turned them off in the first place.

There was instance silence.

Finally Don frowned, "Okay Mikey, I'll ..turn..them on, just close your eyes while I turn them on," his voice strangely filled with worry, fear and confusion.

Mikey complied, trusting his brother, and closed his eyes. He wondered why Donnie sounded so weird.

Don finally said, "Open," and so he did. He frowned, his eyes narrowing as he glanced around blindly, "Donnie…I said turn them on! Not off, it's too dark," he said, frowning.

Don stood there, shock and fear in his own eyes, as he realized what was wrong. He had placed a bright flashlight right in front of Mikey's eyes, and they showed no reaction.

He was blind.

"Mikey….I turned on the lights," Don said hesitantly, "and there's a bright lamp right in front of your face…can you really not see it?"

Mikey shook his head 'no', and his own fear started to build up as he realized Don's words, "I...I can't...ya...ya mean I'm b...b...blind!" he said weakly, on the verge of crying.

"I don't know Mike, you've been unconscious for so many days…and your head wound was pretty bad, so it's probably the cause of your blindness. It may go away…." Don said with a sigh, looking into Mikey's blank eyes, "Without more equipment, I have no idea how this may turn out, I'm sorry Mikey…"

"I…" and his hands reached out blindly, tears running down the blank eyes of their baby brother, "I'm scared of the dark," he whispered brokenly, a few tears falling down his cheeks.


	3. What the SHELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Hands reached out and grabbed Mikey's, telling him he wasn't alone and that he was not going to be left alone. Mikey cried for his sight, frightened that he couldn't see. He hated the dark, frightened of it, the dark carried shadows, and monsters, and it was consuming.

* * *

><p>It had been 6 days since he woke up, and today he was being allowed to get up. He sat on the bed, hesitant, scared, terrified, but he could walk now, and was strong enough to start getting up...but he was scared...terrified...frightened...<p>

* * *

><p><em>He didn't want to.<em>

_He kept saying '__**No**__' to their attempts of him leaving his bed. _

_They didn't understand. _

_None of them did. _

_He was safe in the bed. He knew where it ended, how big it was, how to navigate on it, and reach for things nearby. His bed was his sanctuary, his safe place….and they wanted him to leave it? _

_Not yet…._

_he wasn't ready…_

* * *

Finally, one day, Raph took the matters in his own hands.

Mikey had been sleeping on his bed, curled up in the blankets.

He had been quiet and depressed lately, and Raph had enough. He needed to break Mikey out of this.

He walked into Mikey's room, noticing how neat it was, eerily neat. Donnie had told them everything had to be neat and picked up now. Mikey couldn't see debris on the ground, so it could cause injury to Mikey. They cleaned Mikey's room, telling him where they placed everything.

Don had printed off many ideas on how to make it easier for Mikey to adjust to losing his sight, things like how to organize his plates of food for easier eating, how to fix the bed in just the right way, and many other things.

The only thing was, Mikey was terrified of leaving his room, barely moving out the room, only to use the washroom, and even then, he needed someone to guide him.

He pulled the blanket off, starting to feel guilty for what he was about to do, but pushed it away. He reached down, ignoring the pain in his arm, and picked up Mikey gently, carrying him towards the living room.

He placed Mikey on the couch, and set him down gently, placing the nearby duvet over him, whispering, "I'm sorry Mikey.." and left him there.

Walking towards the kitchen, he saw Leo standing there, watching him. "Are you sure we should do this?" he asked Raph carefully, "Don said sudden shocks can set him back, and we should wait until Donnie made up lessons plans and got him a cane…"

Raph glanced back at Mikey still sleeping, and shook his head, "He needs to snap outta it Leo…he ain't gonna do that with Donnie coddling him….he'll be okay….we can watch him."

Leo glanced at Mikey worriedly, biting his lip, nervous. "We should really wait until Donnie comes back…" he said.

Raph sighed, "Leo…I met someone who was blind. She was confident in moving around. It ain't tha bad…Miss Morrison can even cook and pour tea….Mikey's just wallowing in his pity…he needs ta snap outta it," he said, frustration and anger building in his voice.

Leo sighed, "Fine…but if this doesn't work…I want to go and talk with Miss Morrison with you…okay?"

Raph sighed, nodding his head, "Of course.."

He turned back to the living room, seeing movement on the couch. He turned to watch.

* * *

Mikey whimpered, moving slightly on the couch, his dreams of colors and memory fading away….he whimpered again, rolling over and promptly falling. He cried out in fear, grunting as he hit the ground, eyes snapping open in hopes of seeing.

But it was darkness….

He froze, his body tensing, his blank eyes darting side to side, fear building as the darkness seem to engulf him. He whimpered, "D..d...Donnie?" he said, his voice small and filled with terror.

"Raphie?….Leo?" Mikey called out, his voice wavering, on the verge of crying and fear.

Mikey glanced around, wishing the black would turn into light and colors, anything except the darkness. _Where was everyone? Where was he? He…He was sleeping in his room… where was he now? Why wasn't someone there…_

Mikey whimpered, the terror building up, his breathing quickened, small beads of sweat dripped down his face as he sat on the floor, trembling. "W…where…where are you guys?" he called out.

He lifted his hand slowly, hesitant, and felt around him, trembling as his hand hit cool cement. His room had carpet. They put that in right after he became blind.

He glanced around, his trembling got worse, the darkness seem to swarm, to engulf him, and he was having trouble breathing, "DONNIE!" he shrieked loudly, curling up, his legs hitting his chest as he scrambled backwards, tears falling down his cheeks.

_He couldn't breathe….he felt like it was choking him…the monsters were going to come….it was going to swallow him whole…HELP ME…someone…GOD…please… help me from the darkness…_

Mikey rocked back and forth, lost in his terror, shutting down...

* * *

Raph watched the entire scene, he could feel the guilt building up as he saw Mikey's terrified face, glancing around frantically for help.

He started to move, not even realizing it, when he felt Leo's hand on his chest, stopping him.

"No…Raph, wait," Leo ordered, eyes narrowed, "You're right…he needs to snap out of it…Look.." he said quietly, "..he's reaching out…"

Raph glanced over, seeing Mikey's shaking hand touch the ground, tensing up, recoiling, the terror, Mikey's sudden scream for Donnie, and then his breakdown. He dropped his head, "Shit…we messed up…" he said remorsefully.

He slapped Leo's hand away, ignoring he was right behind him, as he went to check on his little brother.

"Mikey?" he called quietly.

But Mikey didn't react.

He was crying hard, his breathe coming in hard pants, his face pale, tears were running down his face, and he didn't acknowledge them at all….or even twitch when they approached.

Leo kneeled down beside Raph, his voice quiet and gentle, "Mikey…it's Leo…are you okay?" he asked, but like Raph…he received no answer.

"WHAT THE SHELL IS GOING ON HERE!" a voice filled with anger and fear behind them.

They turned, cringing at the livid look on Donatello's face, "What did you do to Michelangelo!" he said, his voice sharp and cold, staring at his older brothers with cold anger.


	4. MrsMorrison

**A/N: I'm trying this new thing out. LOL, I post nice LONG chapters. LOL. Its better that way. LOL. Anyhoo, here's another chapter with the brothers. Next chapter will focus on Mikey starting to adapt and heal...maybe...**

**Anyhoo, would love reviews but ain't mandatory. LOL. I gotta go get rid of a bunch of kittens running around my house. LOL, I named one Thunk, because he keeps falling off the edge of stuff (like the couch) and making a thunking noise when he hits the ground. I love the names. There are Thunk, Fluffball, Oreo, Sonic, Kamikaze. All have to GO! They are driving me nuts. LOL.**

**Oh, next story being updated is Hidden Betrayel. Laters! Gotta fly! :)**

* * *

><p>"Um…well…." Raph started to say, to explain what had happened, but he hesitated.<p>

Don ignored him, and walked over to where Mikey was trembling and rocking, and gently said, "Mikey, I'm going to lift you up and carry you to your room, and then I will cover you with a blanket. You can sleep," he said, explaining his actions as he did them.

After dropping Mikey off in his room, he left him, knowing he was going to check on him in a few minutes. But first, he had to deal with some stupid brothers of his.

"Explain, now," Donatello said his eyes cold and angered.

Raph sighed, "Mikey needs ta get outta his depression Don…we…well I figured we could snap him outta it," he explained, rehashing his plan to get Mikey to start moving around comfortably.

Don trembled, trying to stop himself from blowing up, "And you Leonardo…did you not remember be explaining to you my plans?"

Leo sighed, "Well, yes, but it's been almost a week now Donnie…we're ninja…he should be able to handle being blind…he just needs to use his senses..."

Don spat out, "Bah, for two who think they know it all, you can be so stupid!"

He walked over to his folders, gathering up a large pile of papers, and stormed over, "Michelangelo lost a sense you idiots. It sent his body into a shock. He was gaining confidence in his abilities to stay in his room, our lessons were exploring his room without tripping, using his other senses to help," he said angrily.

"You both just put him in a place where he had no control of his surroundings, a place where everything is dark, nothing is around, nothing familiar. You ruined 3 days work!" Don said, slamming a fist into the wall. He grunted, _his mind yelling at himself for doing something so stupid._

He whirled around, "Need I remind you Mikey just went through a traumatizing ordeal. The last thing he remembers seeing was a gun pointed at him, shooting. He remembers the pain. To deal with the trauma, and the loss of his sight, means you have to take it slow at first, and then work with him. He was talking, it's the first step!" he said angrily.

Raph spoke up, "Donnie…it's just I know someone who is blind…Mrs. Morrison can walk around, cook, pour tea, she can handle bein' blind. I thought Mikey was bein' a baby."

Don sighed, and walked over to the phone, picking it up, and dialing April's number. When she picked up, he said, "Can you come over and watch Mikey for awhile April? Yes…I know….just a few hours…I need to teach some dunces a lesson…he's sleeping…no…he had a setback…don't worry…okay…okay…great, I'll see you in ten…thanks April, see ya soon."

Leo and Raph watched Don as he made the phone call, waiting to see what would happen next.

"Go and sit down in the living room, I need a breather from you two….read that folder…and wait.." Don ordered, kicking them out of his lab.

Raph sighed, rubbing his forehead as he walked to the couch and sat down hard. He sighed deeply, "Man…we screwed tha' up," he said, shaking his head, looking through the papers.

Leo sat down beside him, "Yes…we did. We should have talked with Donatello but he should have explained this before," shuffling through the papers as he read them.

They were smart, intelligent to understand most of what they read, but it spoke about solutions, how to combat against being blind, but first, accepting the darkness you live in.

April and Casey arrived 20 minutes later and going immediately into Don's room, talking in hushed tones. Leo and Raph were curious about what Don was up to, but remained on the couch unsure of what to do next. _Don can be scary when he's pissed off…and they had managed to get him to yell._

* * *

><p>25 minutes later, saying 'Goodbye' to April and Casey, and heading out to the surface, Don stopped on a nearby roof. He turned around, and asked, "Where does Mrs. Morrison live Raph?"<p>

Raph was surprised at this, and waved his hand towards the East side of the city, "'Bout 20 minutes tha' way..." he replied, curiously.

"Bring us there…you are going to introduce me to her," Don said, his voice still eerily calm and cold.

Raph frowned, but nodded, figuring Don just needed some advice. They moved quickly, 13 minutes later, reaching the small house Mrs. Morrison lived in.

Raph jumped down, ignoring how tense Leo was, and knocked on her door. A few moments later, the door opened, and on old lady was standing before them, "Yes…who is it?" she asked, a smile on her face as she stared out the door blindly.

"It's me Mrs. M…Raphael.." Raph said with a smile.

"Hello Raphael, it is great to hear from you again. Please, come in, who is with you?" she asked, waving them inside.

They were careful to make sure she didn't come in contact with their shells or skin, and walked into the neat home.

"The one on your right is Leonardo…he's like the big brother…" Raph said, making the introductions.

"It's nice to finally meet you Ma'am," Leo said politely.

Mrs. Morrison laughed lightly, "Please, call me Mrs. M like Raphael if you want, or call me Molly."

Raph grinned, knowing she was enjoying the company, "And the one on your left side is Donatello…Donnie…he's tha' brainy one in the family. Bloomin' genius.." he said grinning.

Don gave Raph a small smile, "It's nice to meet you as well Mrs. M, I was looking forward to meeting you."

"Oh…why is that?" she asked, moving towards the kitchen, her hands reaching out confidently, pulling out cups, a tea pot, tea and a kettle. Her hands moved confidently, fixing a pot of tea for them to drink.

"Well….I don't know if Raph told you yet, but our little brother was in a gang fight last week…and he was shot twice," Don started to explain.

Mrs. Morrison gasped, "That's horrible, is he alright? How old is he?" she asked, concerned.

"Mike's 16…like we are, but he's the baby in the family. He was the innocent victim; he had gone out to get some pizza and got caught in the mix. He was pretty hurt, so was Raph, but he was alright after they got out the bullet," Don said, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Anyway, Mikey was hit in the head, and it was only a graze, but it hurt him bad enough, he lost his sight..." he finished sadly.

Mrs. Morrison shook her head sadly at the tale. "That is awful, how is he taking the loss of his sight?" she asked concerned.

Raph snorted, crossing his arms, "He's not. He's sulking in his room, to scared of tha' dark to leave..."

"Raphael, how can you say such a thing…losing your sight is not something to be taken lightly, especially early in the beginning. Why are you feeling such anger?" she asked, touching Raph's hand gently, ignoring the difference in his skin.

"BECAUSE, if he'd just accept it and move on, he'll be able to stop sulking and come outta his room! He ain't Mikey sittin' in there!" he explained, frustrated.

Don sighed, "Raph…if you were to suddenly lose your ability to see or talk, if would freak you out also. Mikey had a huge shock to him, the one thing he feared since he was a little one, was being afraid of the dark….today…you exposed his fear of the dark, and the one of being alone…you sent him into shock…" he explained.

Raph hung his head sadly, "I didn't mean ta…it's just tha' I know Mrs. M can move around and do things on her own…I just figured I can get Mikey like tha'."

Mrs. Morrison sighed, "Sweetie…the reason why I can move around confidently like I do, is because I learned ways to cope without my sight. When I first lost it, it was due to cancer when I was but 26 and I did not react well. I was depressed, much like your brother, and it took a lot for me to get out of it."

"How did you learn to cope without your sight Mrs. Morrison?" Leo asked softly, wanting to know more.

"I was in a school where they had me learn slowly at first. They put me in a room and showed me where everything was, and how to memorize. It took me awhile, I was never good at imagery, and had a hard time remembering where everything was. I was one of those people who were very untidy and organized," she explained, a smile on her face.

The turtles glanced around the room, noticing the neatness, and Don commented, "You're not messy now…" he said wonderingly.

"Oh my Goodness! No, not anymore. Being blind, I was unable to see debris, clothing or anything like that. I was scared…terrified actually, of tripping over something and hurting myself. I had done that before," Mrs. Morrison explained, pausing to drink her coffee. Her face showed a small sadness as she continued to talk.

"Although I lost my sight, I had no idea how to do the things I used to before. I knew I could never drive again, be it car or bicycle. I would have to have adaptions for my television viewing and books on tape instead of in front of me. Even painting my pictures I eventually stopped. It's hard," she said, her voice filled with old longing.

Mrs. Morrison reached out, grabbing Raph's hand again, "I enjoyed seeing people the most, loved seeing my first child, and cried when I came to the realization I wouldn't be able to see him grow up. Losing your sight is intimidating; your loss of control goes with it. You can't break free from that fear unless you are comfortable…don't push your brother. He is young to lose his sight, especially in such a violent manner."

"When you go into his room, treat him like you used to, remind him that you love him and are there. Don't get too frustrated and push him. I understand you tried placing him in an unknown environment before he was ready. You must not do this. It is up to him to relearn and memorize his surroundings," she explained, "He needs to learn his room, where he is comfortable, then slowly expand your lessons, eventually until he masters the entire house. Keep your house tidy. I have some books I can give you," she said with a smile.

She stood up, walking over to a corner of the room, reaching out to see where her bookshelf was, her hand trailing down to the second shelf from the bottom. She moved her hands lightly over the titles, before she smiled, pulling out a book, and then another.

Don was curious, he could see they had funny little bumps on them, and words on them.

Raph watched confused, "Mikey can't see…so how he's gonna read books?"

Mrs. Morrison chuckled, "He'll learn, much like I did Raphael," she said, standing up, 6 books in her hands. She walked back over, placing them on the desk. 3 were about learning Braille for beginners, the other 3 were how to deal with being blind.

"He's going to need these. It's Braille, a language for Blind people, a way of writing. Be patient. He's going to get frustrated a lot, and take that out on you," she explained, "be patient, but don't do everything for him. He has to learn to care for himself. He can't depend on you. But go slowly. Make sure he memorizes the counting method, use his imagery, let him ask questions, and make sure he has a blind walking cane. He would need it," she said softly. She had her own for when she left her home.

"Remember, he's disabled, not unable. Try to get him interested in the things he likes to do," she suggested, "what does he like to do?"

Raph shrugged, "He likes ta skateboard, read comics, draw stuff…watch TV…I don't know how he's gonna do that anymore."

Mrs. Morrison smiled, "If he's anything like you Raphael, I'm sure he'll do those things again. There are places you can go to for those types of books, programs you can use for your TV, books you can get on tape. It takes time, but he'll get through," she said with a smile.

"Thanks Mrs. M," Raph said, kissing her cheek quickly, a blush on his face as he heard their muffled snickers.

"You are welcome Raphael. And your brothers need to remember, I can hear quite well with the loss of my sight, so no laughing at your brother," she said, her head turned in their direction.

"Sorry Mrs. Morrison," Leo and Don said in unison.

Shortly after saying their goodbyes, they heading back to home, armed with their books and new knowledge.


	5. Adapting

Mikey woke up the familiar smell of his room, the softness of his blankets, and his firm pillow.

He felt like he slept for hours...or a day or so...and he struggle to piece together what had happened before. He vaguely recalled what happened earlier, the building fear, the sense of loss and control.

He remembered how helpless he had felt and shivered in fear.

Sitting up in his bed, he glanced around his room blankly,wishing he could see it, a little hesitant as he put his foot on the floor slowly.

_He had to get stronger, and he had to adapt…he was ninja…and he was scared of the dark…how it was never-ending…how it wrapped around him, but he would master it!_

_He had to. _

Stepping on the carpeted floor, he moved slowly, arms stretched out in front of him, trying to find his journal on his desk. He moved slowly at first, remembering the lessons Donnie had been giving him. He glanced around, his imagination coming into play, reminding him what his room looked like.

He stumbled a few times, recalling items on the floor that he thought was there, but had been put away. Then, with a smile, he found his desk. His hands reached out along it, touching the desk, the smooth wooden feel of it.

His hands almost showing him exactly what his desk looked like, the smooth feel of it, the various items he organized on it, his hands trailing around, looking for the familiar feel of his journal.

His hands stilled on his sketch book, tears filling his eyes as he realized he wouldn't be able to see his work anymore, to draw, to remember, to show how he viewed the world…it would always be dark…

With a tear slipping down his cheek, he continued looking for the journal. It took another minute, his hands finally finding the familiar spiral metal that held the book together, the soft covers and the familiar weight. He didn't realize how much information he retained all these years, or how he knew the weight or anything.

Donnie called it something, some type of memory…. It was how he knew without seeing, that he was holding his book.

He found a pen, unsure of the colour, but he pulled it closer, clutching the two items to his plastron. He then turned around, stopping to visualize the room again, remembering how Don said to try and figure out where his bed was from his desk. He smiled weakly, his foot sliding forward, careful and a little leery, as he walked back to his bed, stumbling against it, forgetting how far away it was. Crawling onto his bed, he curled up, safe, content, and happy.

_He had done it, he actively looked for something on his own…and he was starting to understand what Don meant about being able to see the room in his mind. _

He opened his book, his hand touching page after page to see where it was blank. He smiled as he realized what Don meant now. They pages he wrote on felt bumpy but flat, certain parts of the paper, where he must of pressed harder when he wrote, showed on the pages. He continued flipping the pages for some time, until he found smooth paper, untouched by a pen, and grinned.

_He would master this….he would defeat it. _

_One step at a time. _

He started to write.

* * *

><p>It had been a few days since they had seen Mrs. Morrison, and Don informed them Mikey was doing better and that he didn't seem to really recall what happened earlier, just snippets, but he was doing better now.<p>

Leo sat on his bed, reading the books they had gotten from Miss Morrison, glad to read them. He frowned when he read about the various things they had to be careful of, and how they had to help Mikey adjust. He found a few chapters about activities and grinned, seeing some of it was similar to what Master Splinter taught them when they were small.

He picked up his own workbook, and wrote in it, grinning as he felt the ache of guilt in his heart ease slightly. He would help his brother, and he would be a ninja again. He just had to build him back up. Remind him.

Finding the activities doable, he started writing in his workbook, how to incorporate Mikey's new training with it. Mikey had a great mind, and a large imagination. He knew that because when they were kids, Mikey always made the best stories up, and always filled with large creatures, adventures and fights.

Smiling in remembrance, he continued to adapt most of the activities to help Mikey, and to talk with Don about approving them as Mikey continued to heal.

Finishing up, he rolled off his bed, the book about Adapting to Being Blind in one hand, his workbook in the other, he set off to find Donnie.

Walking down the stairs and to Don's lab, he tapped on the door. "Hey Don, you got a minute?" he asked, peeking inside the door.

He watched in interest as Don turned around, looking more tired than usual. "Yeah, come on in Mike..I mean Leo…" he said tiredly.

Leo frowned, walking in, his brow furrowed, "When was the last time you slept Donnie?"

Don sighed, "I don't know….I think it was yesterday…or…the day before. I've been busy Leo, what's up?"

Leo frowned, putting the book and workbook on the desk, sitting in a nearby chair, "Don, you have to take care of yourself too. You won't be any good to Mikey or to anyone else…you need sleep bro.."

Don smiled tiredly, "I know I need sleep, I still have a few more things to do here, and I still have to take Mikey to the bathroom so he can shower, and then to the kitchen for some food…I have too much to do Leo."

Leo frowned, nodding his head, "Yes…you do…Don. It's not fair on you to shoulder everything. Let us help Mikey too. We may be a little new at this, and might make a few mistakes, but we can help him too. I've read the books, and know what we did earlier probably set him back-" breaking off a little, blushing in embarrassment.

Don grinned, "I know I was hard on you, it…it's just it scared me to see Mikey in a near catatonic state when I came home…I freaked. I'm sorry about that, but hey, now you know…and I could use some help…it might be best if you do help, that way Mikey can learn faster."

Leo nodded, "Okay, so how about you hit me with a schedule?" he said smiling.

Don nodded, and waved to him the schedule he pinned on the wall for now. "Mikey follows the basic schedule right now, since he is building up his strength and relearning how to find everything. He is doing well on his room when prompted, and the book said that most healing will happen when he initiates the first step himself," printing out a copy from the computer.

"He wakes up at 8 right now, and uses the facilities. He tends to forget where things are sometimes, because things still feel the same sometime, I'm still working on that," pointing it out on the schedule. "He can wash himself, and use the facilities and whatnot, so no doing that. He does need someone to spot him in the shower though, just in case his legs gives out, but using the shower chair, should prevent that," Don said smiling, waving for Leo to follow him, pointing along the ground, where a strip of tape was on a path from Mikey's door to the bathroom.

"This piece of tape helps Mikey know where the bathroom is from his room, it has small sand gradules in it, so he can sense the difference using his feet. This is just until he memorizes the route without using the tape. The purple tape, has small soft pieces of pipe cleaners attached to it. He can sense them as well, and this one leads to my lab. There are several of them throughout the lair, all the tape has a different texture to it. Raph's trail is the sandpaper, yours is the wax paper, the living room is tinfoil, and the kitchen is laminate flooring strips," explaining the differences.

Leo was astounded. He had noticed Don doing stuff to the floor and attaching them to the wall beside Mikey's doorway, but he had no idea on why. "Wow Don, you've been busy."

Don gave a tired smile, "It's been a hard few weeks," he said simply. Turning back to the schedule, he pointed out the next items, "After showering and eating in the kitchen, you show him the way back using this, until he remembers on his own, and start working on his room, and try to get him to visualize the things he wants to touch by using his memory. Then one hour of therapy on his leg, and he is able to sleep until lunch. Same deal at 8 in the morning, just repeat at 12. Same routine, 2 and half hours in the morning, 2 and half in the afternoon, then he's free to do whatever he wants to in the evenings."

Leo whistled softly, "Wow…is this working Don?" asking curiously, "How is Mikey healing?"

Don nodded, "His leg still pains him, and is still quite weak. I want to wait till he's healed a little more before I do a more throughout examination…with Leatherhead possibly. His head injury healed nicely but the scar is still deep and red…it might not go away…" looks sad at this, "He is gaining more confidence moving around his room and even left his bed to get his journal on his own."

Leo smiled, "It's taking time, but he's adapting….just like he always does."

Don gave a sad smile, his eyes shifting to a darker memory, "Yes…he always does adapt..better than ever…you know when we got sent to the other worlds?"

Leo nodded.

"I have never missed Mikey's more carefree ways ever again. That's why I'm so tolerant…I've seen Mikey at rock bottom Leo…it's not pretty. He was like you but worse. He was an awesome warrior, scars covered his body and that light in his eyes…it was gone…the smile was gone forever…" Don's voice shook as talked about it, "Mikey was missing his right arm…and he was a wicked fighter…Leo…I don't want Mikey to turn out that way….I want to find a way to help him, to get his sight back...but...I don't think I can..."

Leo engulfed Don into a hug, letting Don break down, and finally cry about what happened to their little brother. "I know Donnie…I know…" and he comforted his little brother as he cried his pain and guilt.


	6. Bonding

Raph was reading through one of the books he had gotten from Mrs. Morrison and sighed, wondering how Don found these books fascinating. He flipped another page, zoning out halfway as it talked about medical adjustments for routines.

He sighed, knowing he needed to adjust to Mikey being blind and that was why he was trying to read these books...and understand it. It was hard. It talked about medical terms he didn't understand, and when he did look them up, he was even more confused.

Closing the book, frustrated and upset, he headed up to Mikey's room, tapping on the door. He was startled when he heard Mikey's voice call out, "Come in," and pushed open the door.

"Hey Mike," Raph said quietly, still marveling at how neat and tidy the room seem to be now. He walked over, sliding down to the floor, leaning against the wall, "How you doin'?"

Raph watched as Mikey shrugged as he seem to write in his book. His eyes widen a little at the sight, and was curious, "How ya know you ain't writin' on somethin' you wrote on before?" and grimaced at the stupid question.

He glanced up when he heard Mikey chuckle lightly, astonished he had heard it. It seemed like ages since he heard Mikey laugh, even if it was a small chuckle.

"Come here Raphie," Mikey said to him, and waved his hand vaguely in his direction.

Raph frowned but got up curiously, walking over.

"Come…sit here," Mikey said, patting a spot beside him as he slowly moved to the side, drawing his legs up in a crossed leg formation.

Raph sat, leaning against the wall again, "So what'cha gonna show me!" he asked curiously.

Mikey's hand moved out blindly, looking for Raph's hand, who quickly put his hand where Mike could find it.

"Close your eyes bro," Mikey said softly, as he guided Raph's hand.

Raph nodded, puzzled and curious, and closed his eyes. He could feel Mikey tugging his hand somewhere and jumped slighty as his hand came into contact with paper. He knew it was paper and assumed it was Mikey's journal.

"Okay…your hand is on my journal…it's smooth, right? No bumps?" Mikey said softly, his voice seemingly louder to his ears as he felt the journal, Mikey's hand guiding him up and down, and along the spine.

"Yeah…it's smooth…so…what?" he said, still puzzled, eyes still closed.

Mikey chuckled again, "When you write…it leaves an imprint behind…ya know…like when you step into the dirt and it leaves a footprint…ink does the same to paper," and Raph felt Mikey lift his hand up, the sound of paper being shuffled, and his hand placed down gently again.

He frowned at the touch, it felt slightly bumpy, and small circular impressions. He frowned, "You wrote on it…right?"

Mikey shifted on the bed, a smile in his voice, "Yep…I can't see what I'm writing…or even know if I'm writing over words…b ut it feels good to write. It's something normal…that I still can do…you know?" He let go of Raph's hands, "You can open your eyes Raphie."

Raph smiled, looking down at the journal, checking for mistakes. He could see some over run on some words, but it seemed alright to him. He could make out words…some were larger then they were supposed to be, or crooked…but it was fine.

"This what Donnie teachin' ya?" he asked curiously, tapping the journal and looking at Mikey. He watched Mikey carefully, studying his eyes, actually noticing the blankness in them.

"Yeah…Donnie helped a lot, I can find things in my room now, and I'm starting to learn where he is standing when he is in here. He's taking me to learning his sounds when he walks around, so I can learn what direction he's talking from," Mikey said, picking up the journal and pen, and reached for the coffee table beside his bed first, before using his fingers to place them on top securely.

Raph watched as he sat back, "Mikey…how are you really takin' all of this?" he finally said bluntly, glancing at his little brother.

He watched as Mikey stilled for a moment, wishing he could see what he was thinking. Mikey seem to shift on the bed, his shoulders dropping for a moment before he straightened, "I'm doing as well as I can expect. It's not so different from Sensei's Ninja training, you know..it…it's just all the time training….I am remembering…but it's scary..you know?"

Raph grunted, not sure what to say, "Do you miss it?" and groaned at the stupid insane question that just left his mouth, "Ah Mike, forgit that question, that was stupid of me!"

Mikey sat back against the bed, glancing over in Raph's direction, his face tilting blindly in his direction, "It's okay Raphie…I know you all are probably wondering that….I do miss it…" he said softly, shifting closer to Raph.

Raph tried not to smile at Mikey's actions, knowing he was trying to shimmy closer for a hug and a cuddle. Raph didn't give Mikey cuddles often, letting him work his way to it, so he said nothing.

"I wish I knew wha' I can do to help ya," Raph said with a sigh, looking around the strangely cleaned room.

"Ya do help Raphie!" Mikey said quickly, shifting a little more over, his hand reaching out a little, trying to gauge how much further he had to go. "You still stick around, you don't let me fall, and you keep the monsters away…you're my hero Raph…I remember you trying to save me…and taking that first bullet….it's one of the last things I remember seeing.." Mikey said softly, beside Raph, reaching out to hug him.

Raph saw Mikey moving closer, and felt his heart beating faster at Mikey's words, "But I didn't save you Mikey….I failed…an..and now you're blind…" Raph said as he wrapped his arms around his baby brother, his voice choking up as he held him, tears suddenly filled his eyes as he stared at Mikey through blurred tears.

"You didn't fail me Raph…you saved me…if you hadn't taken that bullet…I would be dead…even I knew that…" Mikey said as he cuddled into Raph's plastron, his body showing little tremors as he tried to not cry.

"But you'se can't see nuthin'! It's muh fault! It's muh fault!" Raph said, "I'm sorry Mike…I swear…I'll help ya through this…" and a tear slipped down his face.

Mikey shook his head, his head tilting up slightly to try and gaze into Raph's face but not too sure where it was. He slowly reached out, one hand touching Raph's cheek gently, feeling the coolness of a tear track and said, "It's not your fault Raph. I know it's not…and you'll be right by my side…" and cuddled against Raph.

Raph held him, feeling a small ache in his chest seem to loosen slightly, but the guilt was still there. He knew it had to be his fault, his baby brother was nearly killed….and the scar looked awful. He gently touched it, kissing the still healing scar gently, "Mikey….you won't ever be alone…we won't let you fall behind…"

"Promise Raphie?" Mikey seem to whisper in the darkened room, clutching Raph a little tighter, seeming to be more insecure and scared.

"I promise Mike…you won't get left behind…you'll be great," Raph said with a grin. "Just like tha' blind superhero….DareDevil…you'll be awesome Mike…just have faith.."

Mikey nodded tiredly in Raph's arms, relaxing a little more, a yawn escaped him, "That'll be cool…" he whispered. He tightened his grip once more, "Stay? Please?...I…I get a little scared when I wake up.." he confessed.

Raph's brow furrowed a little, "Why do you get scared when you wake up?" honestly puzzled.

Mikey's voice seem to whisper, "B..because when I sleep…I dream…I dream I can see….that I can see you and Donnie and Leo. I see Splinter and Klunk and April and Casey…I can see my messy room and the tv…b..but when I wake…I see darkness…and it frightens me…reminds me…please? Stay?" he whispered, his voice trembling slightly.

"I'll be 'ight here Mike…I ain't goin' no where…ya got my promise…sleep….big brother is here…" Raph said quietly, feeling Mikey relax completely in his arms, and his soft breathes indicating that he had fell asleep.

_He wasn't going anywhere….his little brother needed him tonight…._


	7. Bad Dreams

A few days later, Mikey stood by the doorway of his room, he couldn't tell if it was light in the lair, but he knew the light was on in his room. He hesitated for a moment, cocking his head to the side, trying to focus on his hearing.

It was quiet mostly, but he could detect the soft snores coming from the room opposite him and from the other rooms nearby. He frowned, his hand reaching out for the wall beside his door, his fingers trying to find what went to Leo, Raph's or Don's room.

His hand fingered the carved letters representing his brothers, and the fabric underneath telling him what one to follow for each brother. He stood there for a moment, hesitating, wondering if he could do this. He slowly took a deep breathe, and thought about finding Leo's room.

One foot reached out, slowly tracing it along as he shifted forward, forcing himself to calm down, his body tense and his hands held out in front of him, scared of tripping over something or falling, as he limped towards Leo's room. He grunted, feeling exhausted, his body was still healing from the ambush.

As he tried sensing his surroundings, biting back a whimper as he followed the wax paper, hands out blindly, and stumbled over something.

He panicked, breathing in sharply, scared, and glanced around, wishing for his sight more than ever, as the darkness seem to wrap around him. He quickly shuffled forward, hands touching a wall, and his foot glided over the floor, sensing the wax paper, and knew he made it!

He slowly limped inside the room, sensing Leo in the far Right corner, a touch of warmth, Leo's body heat, he guessed and the sounds of soft breathing coming from the corner. He limped over, knowing there would be no debris in Leo's room. _He was a neat freak after all._

He jumped when he bumped into the bed, and let out a small smile when he heard Leo's sleepy voice, mumbling, "Mike? What's wrong? You okay?" he said tiredly.

Mikey spoke softly, "C…can I sleep in here tonight Leo?"

"Sure you can….what's wrong?" Leo's voice again in the darkness, and he jumped when he felt Le's soft callused hands touch his arm, concern ringing through the darkened room.

"I hadda bad dream…." Mikey whispered, and leaned forward, his arms wrapping around Leo as he felt the tears build in his eyes, wishing to death he could see Leo's comforting gaze, his love, and cried at the loss, the desolating feeling he got when he realized again he would never see Leo's smiling face again.

Tears slipped down his cheeks as he felt Leos arms wrap around him, his soft voice trying to calm him as he talked, rocking him slightly to calm him. Mikey cried, wishing it was all a nightmare_….that he would wake up…he would see his brother…._

_If only he could wake up….and really see….instead of seeing only when he slept…to wake up to darkness…._

_Darkness that was filled with shadows…blackness….monsters. .._

He shivered as he felt himself dozing off into Leo's arms, his soft voice anchoring him as he slept.

* * *

><p>The next day, he woke up to low murmurings in the room, and realized he could hear Leo's soft voice, and Don's gentle voice talking to eachother. He slowly sat up in the bed, briefly wondering why the bed felt off, and was puzzled.<p>

"Hey Mike, how you feeling?" Leo asked quietly, concern in his voice.

"Mornin' Leo….where am I?" he asked puzzled, touching the bed curiously, "Am I in your room?"

"Yeah, you came in last night, said you had a bad dream," Leo explained.

Mikey frowned, but a flashback to last night events flowed through his brain, and he sighed, "Sorry Leo, didn't mean ta bug you."

Leo shifted on the chair nearby, and said, "Its okay Mikey. I'm really proud of you. You left your room to come to mine, instead of handling things alone. You took the first step," he said, his voice filled with pride.

Mikey flushed, "It's no big deal… I just wanted you…"

Don spoke up this time, asking, "Did those strips on the floor help, Mike?" curiosity filled his voice.

"Yeah, it helped me remember which way to go… and I panicked a bit… but I was able to find Leo's room," Mikey said, groaning as he stood up stiffly, his leg was aching and sore, so he sat back down.

Don frowned at the groan, and asked, "Is there something wrong with your leg Mikey? Is it still hurting?"

Mikey nodded, his head turning towards Don's voice, "Yeah…it hurts here," one hand reaching out, touching the back of his leg, "it's really stiff and it still hurts."

He jumped when he felt Don's hand touching his leg a moment later, and inhaled sharply at the probing touches.

"It feels like the muscles are healing too tightly together…it's all stiff… we should really start some therapy on your legs Mikey, it might help avoid surgery in the future," Don said softly, "in the meantime, we should get you some crutches or something. We can help you to the livingroom if you want to hang out."

Mikey sighed, but nodded his head, " 'kay…thanks guys," and could feel the body heat of his brothers coming up beside him, and didn't jump this time when they touched him, and slowly pulled him up. He felt his arms being tugged around their neck and shoulders and shuffled forward slowly as they walked from the room.

He was helped to the livingroom couch, and sat down slowly. "I'm just going to elevate your leg a bit Mikey, it'll help," Don said as he gently grabbed Mikey's injured leg, and put it on a pillow.

"How long am I going to be a gimp for Don?" he asked curiously, looking towards Don, but not at him.

"A few more weeks Mike…your body took a huge hit, it takes time to recover from that," he said patiently.

"I hate not being able to move…" he whined.

Leo chuckled, "I know Mike, but once it's healed properly, you won't have problems anymore," he said, "I'm going to make some breakfast, what do you guys want?"

"Bacon and eggs?" Mikey asked hopefully, he wanted real food for a change.

"You got it!" Leo replied with a laugh in his voice.

Mikey could hear Leo moving around, the fridge opening, and sighed. "Where's Raphie?" he asked curiously.

He jerked his head towards Don, who replied, "He went topside to get a few more things, and some food for Klunk, he was out."

Mikey's face fell, "Where is Klunk? I haven't seen him around lately…" he said with a frown. He glanced around blankly, before calling for his cat. He heard an answering cry from Klunk and frowned, "He sounds like he's in a bedroom or the bathroom….is he?" he asked where he thought Don was standing.

"I'm not sure, but I'll check…how about you watch…um..one sec..wait, I know…I set something up for you, you might like it," and suddenly Mikey could hear the sounds of running feet, and frowned in confusion.

He heard a chuckle behind the couch and jumped slightly, "Leo? Where did Don go?...is he going to let Klunk out?" he asked, turning slightly in the couch, facing Leo's position. He had gotten a lot better at sensing the general direction where his brothers were, and was learning quite well now.

"He went to get something he made. It some sort of program for the TV so you can still watch shows and everything. He knows you might miss it," Leo explained, walking over, "and you're cat was in the dojo for some reason," and the sounds of something moving and a loud cat purr echoed throughout the lair, and brought a smile to Mikey's face.

"Hey Klunk, how's my little baby? Are they treating you alright?" Mikey said as soon as he felt Klunk in his hands and started petting the small cat.

He could feel the loud vibrations of her purr throughout her body and grinned toward Leo, "Thanks Leo…how's breakfast coming?"

"It's getting there, almost done. I just came to ask what you want with your eggs, I had enough stuff to make omelets," Leo said, sounding amused.

Mikey shrugged, "Surprise me with something wholesome…I don't think Donnie is gonna let me eat junk food right now…" he said with a huge sigh, "what I wouldn't give for some pizza…."

Leo chuckled, "You got that right, I'll be back to help you later, okay…" and disappeared.

Mikey sat back against the couch, hearing the sounds of Leo cooking and humming in the kitchen, and the distant sound of Don working and tapping on his computer. He was bored and stared blankly at the television sets, feeling strange at hearing no sounds.

He slapped his hand around the couch, looking for the remote. Even if he couldn't see it, he could hear it, and that would make a difference. He frowned as he continued to search for the remote in the couch, then the coffee tables, and put his leg back down to get up, wishing the remote was somewhere.

He got up, limping around the coffee table when all of a sudden, Klunk's body was in front of his feet and he was falling, tripping over his cat, yelping as he hit the ground. He groaned in embarrassment as he pulled himself back up, hearing the twin yell's of his brothers, "Are you alright Mikey!" and groaned again.

He pulled himself back onto the couch, and yelled out, "I'm fine, just tripped," and sat down with a small sulk. He was bored. _What could he do now? He couldn't draw, he couldn't read, he couldn't even watch TV!_ He sighed, staring blankly at the ceiling as he waited for breakfast.


	8. Realizations

**Well, I am back, but updating again. Hope you all like it!**

* * *

><p>Two days later:<p>

Mikey frowned as he paced in his room, ignoring the pain in his leg as he limped. _He had to make sure his brothers knew he could do it. He had to be like how he was before...but it was so hard. _

He glanced around his room, not seeing a thing. Nothing but blackness, it was all dark, so dark.

_It was odd, now that he thought of it. He could still hear everything. Like the dripping pipe that was above his room, The soft skittering of Klunks' paws. He could hear the hum of a vehicle above, in the Garage. _

He paused, glancing around, limping to where his door was, one hand reaching out, touching the smoothness of the door, knowing it was his._ He didn't realize before how much things he would start memorizing by touch and scent. Things seem to be getting sharper, more focussed, and it kind of bothered him. _

_He knew it was only getting like that, be cause he was adapting to being blind. _

_He missed being able to see. To see April's vibrant red hair, Casey's black hair that always reminding him of the lion from the Wizard of Oz. He could see Raph, Donnie and Leo in his head, he could see Splinter, but sometimes...just something, he'd forget a small detail. Something...anything...and knew he was missing it, and it hurt. Knowing he wouldn't be able to see what he was missing. _

He opened the door, walking out, more comfortable with moving around, but still being careful, limping slowly over the ground, two small canes tapping beside him, knowing if he didn't use them, Splinter and Donnie would get mad.

He kind of liked these new canes. They had something on top, which clung to him, around his forearm, instead of crutches that were under his armpits. He wondered what colour they were, but realized it didn't matter.

_Wow, another thing that I am going to miss..._

He made it to the kitchen, smelling the different smells in the kitchen, hearing a brother or two, inside, as well as the tell tale signs of Master Splinters paws hitting the floor. _Tea...mmmm...my favourite tea...I wonder if I can get some...someone burnt eggs...probably Raphie...the poor guys...they must miss me cooking...I should try cooking something...I swear...that was Leo's oatmeal...he couldn't smell much sugar with it though..._

"Hey sensei...can I have some tea also?" he asked, limping into the kitchen, heading to where he remembered the table to be.

"Of course my son, would you like something to eat?" Splinter said with a smile.

"I'll make myself something, thanks sensei," Mikey said, putting his crutch/cane behind him. He slowly moved around the table, his hands reaching out, touching the chair, figuring out where everything was by touch, and feel. He quickly sat down, smiling.

"Hey Raphie...next time, don't burn the first set of eggs, just turn the heat down bro," He could sense surprise from his brother, as well as shock. "And Leo, please...put some sugar with your oatmeal, live a little," he said, smirking in their direction.

"Wha...how?" Leo blurted out, shocked and surprised.

Mikey could hear Splinter moving toward him, hearing the small clink of a tea cup hitting the table, the smell of Chamomile tea with Jasmine and mint hit him and the heat from the cup.

One hand closed around it, his fingers feeling where the heat was, and as his fingers slowly traced a way to the top, he could feel where the heat stopped, "Thanks sensei."

"You are welcome my son. I see you are adapting quite well without your sight," Splinter said softly, "I am proud of you."

"I miss seeing, but the longer without seeing, the more used to the darkness I get..." Mikey said softly. _And the darkness seems to be the only thing that makes sense now...everything changed...even my family..._

He heard Splinter quietly leave, and knew he was giving Mikey his time to show he can do things again.

"Well, I knew you'd get yur ass in gear again. You gonna make sumethin' ta eat? 'Cause I can get you somethin'" Raph offered.

Mikey took a small drink of his tea, breathing in the calmness of the drink, not wanting to snap at his brother, for just trying to help. "No, it's okay Raph. I'll make myself something. You can watch if you want, I can show you how to cook something..."

There was silence, until Mikey heard the small metal cling of a utensil being put back into the bowl, figuring that Leo put the spoon back into his, and his voice speaking hesitantly, "Mike...you know, you really shouldn't cook...y...you can't see anything...and something could go wrong..."

Mikey sighed, feeling that boiling resentment starting to grow again, and wanted to snap back at Leo, but he took a deep breathe, calming himself before he spoke. _Figures. Can't he have faith in me? I've been cooking since I was 6! _"Leo, I understand your concern, but I'll be fine. I lost my sense of sight, but not my sense of smell, taste or touch. Trust me when I say, I can cook."

Mikey frowned when he heard nothing but silence, but then he thought he heard something moving, shaking, the faint sounds of cursing and something making a loud vibrating noise on the ground, before it abruptly stopped.

Mikey frowned, his head tilted to the side slightly, "What's Donnie doin?" he asked, hating that he had to ask because he couldn't figure it out.

"He's been building somethin' in his shop...why?" Raph asked curiously, having noticed Mikey tilting his head, appearing to listen.

"He sounds like he's having some trouble...can you go check on him Raphie? Please?" Mikey asked worried.

"Sure nutball, I'll be back," Raph said, pushing his chair back, a little puzzled and more than a little curious.

Leo frowned, but continued to eat silently.

Mikey got up, grabbing his crutches and his empty tea cup, glad he could hold the handle of the cup easily, so while using his crutch, he lurched towards where the sink was.

Leo bit his lip, watching, wanting to do it for him, but knowing he couldn't, it would set him back.

Mikey hummed to himself as he put the cup in the sink, rinsing it out easily. He grinned as he reached over the cupboard and pulled out a plate. Then bent over a little, grimacing a little when his body twitch in pain, but he managed to grab the small circular pan. He knew this was the pan he used for eggs.

"Mikey, I don't feel comfortable with you cooking. Please, I'll cook you something," Leo said, getting up, pulling the pan away from Mikey's hand.

Mikey glowered, staring at where he sensed Leo standing, his arm reaching over to grab the pan back, but he wasn't really sure where the pan was, as he batted against Leo to get it back.

"Leo, stop it. I remember how to cook! I know I can do this. Just trust me!" he said angrily

"Mikey, please, just understand from my point of view...I don't feel comfortable with you cooking. I can see you burning yourself, or the food burning, or what if there is a fire!" Leo countered, "There are too many things that can go wrong, and you can't see!"

Mikey growled angrily, _trying hard not to lash out, but this wasn't the first time Leo stopped him from doing something. He was blind, not unable!_

"Dude, just let me show you! I can cook, I know I can...I need to be able to get back to where I used to be..." Mikey said angrily, wishing he could see Leo, and his face.

"Mikey, no, I'll cook you something, okay?" Leo said sternly, his voice sharp and firm.

Mikey groaned when he heard it, knowing Leo made up his mind, and that was the last straw. He grabbed his crutch, clutching it tightly, his frustration growing, wanting to lash out, and so he finally let go and stepped back.

"Leo, stop it! I can't see! I know I can't! I know I'm fuckin' blind! Ya think I don't know! Ya think that I can't do ANYTHING! I'm fuckin' blind, but I have 4 other senses working for me. Why can't you just trust me! Am I that much of a liability! Aren't I good enough anymore?" Mikey said, panting, his chest heaving from yelling so loudly.

He stumbled back, his heart aching from pain, and the tears threaten to fall, and he wished to God his tears would allow him to see again.

"Mikey..." he heard Leo's broken voice, filled with guilt and anguish, and knew he hurt Leo's feelings.

Mikey shook his head, feeling heavy, guilty, "I'm sorry Leo...I...I just..." but he broke off, and scrambled towards his room, stumbling over the corners of the kitchen, in his haste to get to his room, he got confused, glancing around, feeling stupid.

His head turned side to side, wishing he could figure out where he was, and he slowly reached out one hand, touching a wall, his feet gliding along the floor, trying to figure out where in the room he was, so he could get to his room. He felt stupid and useless, knowing he couldn't even find his room.

He bit back a sob, feeling it grow, that bitter feeling growing when he found a strip on the ground, and almost sobbed in relief when he recognized the one for his room, and limped towards it. He ignored his name being called behind him, hurrying inside his room, slamming the door shut behind him, one hand fumbling on the lock bolt, slipping it to the side, locking the door.

He slid to the ground, his leg protesting his movement, almost screaming at him, but it helped. He felt the tears falling down him face, and felt the heavy depression over-taking him, and finally just cried.

_I'm never going to be good enough...not anymore..._

He cried...

_I want to see...please...god...if there is one...please...someone...I just want to see again...please..._


	9. Trying

**A/N: Hey Everyone, hope everyone enjoys this extra long chapter. Please read and review, it would be nice to come home and see reviews! LOL. **

**Wow, New Year, weird so far...anyone have a weird Friday the 13th yesterday! It was so...weird! LOL**

* * *

><p>2 weeks later:<p>

Mikey's POV

_He was dreaming, he had to be! He thought as he ran through the room, relishing at the sights of all his collectables, his blankets, his pictures. He grabbed his sketchbook, smiling when he flipped through it, images of his family at various ages, images of him and Silver Sentry, him with his father. _

_He felt the tears build, grateful he could see them again. He heard the sound of his father in the kitchen, his heart pounded in happiness as he dropped the book, and yanking the door opened. He saw the kitchen door was opened, and ran inside, hearing his father making tea. _

_He saw his father's familiar robe, "Father!" he called out happily, and as Splinter turned around, he saw no face. No warming eyes, no furry smile, no flickering ears. It was blank and gone. _

_He screamed in horror, the world slowly drifting dark in front of his eyes, but he was still awake. He screamed when he realized his vision was fading once more…and he felt his heart pounding when he saw he couldn't see anymore….and couldn't remember his father's face….his blank face…and the darkness surrounding him…_

He glanced over, forgetting for a moment he was blind, seeing just darkness. He groaned, as he heard it vibrating softly against his leather book. His hand reaching to the table, touching the little alarm Donnie made for him, and turned it off.

He closed his eyes once more, trying to see if he could fall back into dreaming, he had been dreaming about seeing, about painting.

He sighed deeply as his eyes snapped open in hopes of seeing his familiar ceiling, but that deep ache inside grew as he saw nothing but darkness.

_Still dark..._

Depressed, he pushed aside his blankets, and sat up. One hand reached out beside his bed, one hand searching for his canes, wincing as he banged into them, almost causing them to fall, but a quick reaction, and he managed to grab them before they fell.

_Well, my reflexes are still good, just sore...that's cool I managed to catch them though!_

The effort and moving so fast to grab his canes, hurt, and he knew he still wasn't up to par. He knew it was only a few weeks since his accident, and that he was healing. He talked to Don about practice, but he was still on restriction, and it bothered him.

_Well, it's not like I can really practice if I can't see how they do stuff...can I? Well, I probably could if they showed me manually...I could learn like that, couldn't I? I should ask...if Don ever lets me know why my leg is still hurting so much...the wounds healing...isn't it?_

_He was going to get better, and get back to training, despite what Don said. _

_I want to be part of the team again!_

Sighing, he inched his crutches toward his desk, one hand reaching for his trademarked orange bandana, before he stopped, his fingers brushing the soft fabric.

He shook his head in disgust, "I won't wear it...not yet..." he said, pausing, "Not until I can prove to them, that I can be who I used to be..." and he turned around, using his crutches to limp across the floor, one hand opening the handle of his door, and he swung out.

_He was determined to prove to his family, that he could be the same. He headed toward the kitchen, no longer needing the strips on the floor to tell him where it is. _

_He was going to cook, to prove to them that he still could do this! Then after Don tells me what's up with my leg, then maybe I can start practicing in the dojo again..._

Mikey put his crutches against the wall, limping over to the fridge, his hands feeling the familiar touch of the egg carton, and pulling it out. He grinned when he found the block of cheese, could smell the peppers and onions in the bottom drawer. He fumbled a bit when he accidently pulled it out too far, and had to shove the drawer back in.

_Well, that could've gone better...but I got it...I wonder if there is any bacon...I don't think I can smell any...maybe there's some in the freezer..._ and he opened the freezer door after he put his items on the counter.

One hand reached into the cold cache, and his hands felt the many different packaging _It's in here...it should be...I only used one of the three packages...unless they used them...hmmm, that's corn...when did we get perogies? Hmmm perogies with bacon and onions...mhhhmmm bacon, yeah, that's it, do we have some? _

Mikey was getting frustrated as he touched each item, trying to identify it. He frowned when he picked up the boxes, wondering what was inside. He didn't want to open them in case it was something he had to cook right away, _after all, we can't have them get freezer burn_t..._hey ice cream...I wonder what kind it is! _

And he pulled out the box, one hand opening it, and inhaled.

He could smell the pecan and walnut, the chocolate and vanilla, and knew this ice cream was Raph's Walnut and Pecan Swirl.

Putting it back, he pulled away, sighing.

_Guess we don't have any...that sucks...guess egg omelette is good with veggies and cheese…would have been better with bacon…_

Giving up his quest for the bacon and moved back toward the counter.

His leg was already starting to throb as he moved around without support, and his hands fumbled a bit as he searched for the bowls, knocking some over.

He winced at the loud clang, praying his family didn't come in, especially Leo.

_He had to do this! He had to show he was still good enough to be a part of the family. Not some lazy person, not someone who could contribute. _

Tears of frustration built as one hand reached on the counter, for the round container with all the utensils in it. He jumped as he heard it bang over, but he was determined to do this.  
><em>I know this kitchen! I designed it, I moved stuff around, I...I know I can do this...I just..have to remember...<em>

Cleaning up his mess, he quickly found a sharp knife and a cutting board. He grabbed one of the peppers, cutting it in half, using his fingers to take the seeds out. He tried a small piece, identifying what pepper it was, _This is Yellow Peppers, these are good. _

He started to cut up the peppers, dicing them. His hands carefully checked them over, after he diced them, proud that he did it and they were the size he wanted.

Next he grabbed the block of cheese, and started slicing little chunks off, then dicing them by touch. It was a little tricky because he couldn't see how much he did, until he was done, but threw it in the bowl with the vegetables.

_This should be easy but it's taking me so long...I used to do this in like 5 minutes...it feels like forever..._

Grabbing an onion, he grabbed another knife, a sharper one, and quickly worked at peeling it, the smell making him nauseous, but he knew he could do it.

_I can do it, you have to have onions...but God, my leg is killing me...almost done...almos-oww_

His legs were starting to tremble from standing so long, and he faltered a little, hissing as the knife nicked his hand, a cut running the inside of his palm.

Putting the knife down, he sighed, wanting to wipe the tears that were running down his face, but he let them fall. He bit his lip as he moved the knife, cutting board and onion into the sink, wincing as the onion juice hit his hand, making it sting even more.

_He wanted to cry, to break down, but he had to do this! He had to prove to them all! _

He could so do this...

_It hurts...why the Shell does it hurt so much?_

As his leg throbbed, his hands and arms trembled in an effort to hold him up, inhaling sharply the fresh scent of cut vegetables and diced cheese.

_I am going to do this! _

His head started to pound and he felt dizzy. His world seemed to whirl around him, making him feel like he was on a boat that was going in a wild circle. Suddenly, everything whirled together once more and he started to fall.

**CRASH**

He hit the floor, hard, throbbing and dizzy. His leg was shaking, and his body trembled. He bit his lip in an effort to not cry out, but it wasn't working. He choked back a sob as he lay on the ground, _Leo was right...I am a failure..._

He didn't know how long he lay on the ground, just that his injured leg seemed to twist and throb, making it nearly impossible to get back up. He waited until he felt it calm down, and moaned as he pushed himself back up, sitting against the kitchen cupboards. He winced as his hand made contact with the dirty floor, his cut stinging a bit.

_I know I can do this...please just let me be normal...let me do this... _

He winced as he crawled back to the counter, one hand moved slowly, touching in the darkness, as he tried to find the sink. He was glad when his hands gripped the sink edges, and pulled himself up.

_God, this hurts...three weeks doing nothing and I'm a weakling again..._

His other hand reached for the tap, turning on the hot water tab, putting his hands under the stream of water. He sighed in relief as it seemed to kill the throb in his hand. He winced as his hands moved blindly around, looking for a cloth.

He finally found it, near the fridge, and started drying his hands. The cloth felt good, and he wrapped it around his cut.

_I am going to do this, I can't give up! _

He decided to grab a chair from the table, it would be easier for him to sit and then work at it.

Limping over, he grabbed the chair, dragging it since it was easier, and sat down with a sigh.

_Wow, I forgot how good it felt to sit…maybe I need to use the wheelchair again…I hate the damn thing though…_

Relaxing, he leaned over the counter, rinsing off the cutting board with hot water, and the knife. He groaned as he got up, limping to the fridge, pulling out another onion to cut up.

Mikey scowled as he sat back down, ignoring the stinging in his cut hand as he diced the onion, reaching for the bowl slowly, not wanting to knock it over. He threw the onion inside, mixing it up.

_Needs to be an even mix, that way each omelette has the right amount…_

He got up, pushing the chair near the stove, and turning it to about 6 ½, knowing with ease, since he cooked for so many years. He grabbed the large frying pan, and the butter container, scooping a piece and tossing it in, smiling when he heard the butter melting and sizzling.

Mikey sat down again, pulling the other bowl he took out to him. He grabbed the eggs, making sure to be right over the bowl, and cracked 10 eggs into the bowl.

Smiling as he picked up the fork next, he quickly mixed it up, beating it so it was all smooth and mixed.

He knew if he could see, it should look yellow and almost fluffy, but he shrugged. _It must be close, I mixed it as long as I used to…_ and poured in some into the frying pan, hearing the familiar sizzling as egg met pan.

He reached for the bowl, stopping again, remembering the move his hand slowly, not wanting to knock the bowl over.

_Got it!_

He grabbed a handful with his uninjured hand, tossing it on top of the egg mixture.

Mikey inhaled the smell of cooking egg, waiting for the partially cooked egg smell. He grabbed the flipper, inching it's way carefully into the pan, testing the edge to see if it was hard enough. Touching it with his finger, he smiled with glee, _See, I knew I could do this, _and gripped both pan and flipper, he moved to flip it.

He stood up, so it would be easier, and flipped it, smiling. He wished he could see it, and knew not to add any spices just yet, since he had to familiarize himself with them once again.

He grabbed 5 plates, and started cooking each one, happy he was able to figure it out. As soon as each one was done, he put it on an adjoining plate, and started the next. _See Leo, you just got to trust me enough to figure this stuff on my own! I told you, I can do this..._

Mikey stood up again, something inside was telling him it was time to flip the omelette, and gripped the pan and flipper, easily sliding it under. He wished he could throw it in the air, like he once knew how to, but was a little wary about trying it without any guidance.

_Maybe Donnie can help me with that again..._

He started flipping the omelette, it hung on the flipper and his wrist was turning it, when he heard a loud, "MICHELANGELO! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!"

Mikey was so startled, he let go of the omelette, flipper and pan, not able to see to dodge the pan and omelette, covering his lower legs with half cooked, but very hot eggs, and a pan that landed on his foot.

_Ow, son of a Bi***, what the Shell, who..._

Mikey's brain shut down, the pain and confusion making him panic, sensing he was in danger.

_Get away, get away! _

Mikey whimpered as he hit the floor, his leg unable to support him anymore. He scrambled away from the stove and pan. He grunted as pain shot up his leg, and made him cry out.

"Mikey! Oh god, I'm so sorry, are you alright?" he heard from far away, but the words didn't register.

_No, fuck, shit, this hurts! This hurts! Donnie, Donnie, need Donnie_

All he could feel was burning pain at that moment, and when he felt a hand grab his shoulder, he reacted again, screaming as his left hand reached for the wrist, turning it away, hearing a choked gasped of pain.

_Don't touch me, who the shell are you, fuck off, don't hurt me!_ He thought confused and panicked.

He suddenly could hear multiple people talking, confusing him even more, vibrations in the floor confused him, thinking it was an attack of people. He reached up the counter, hand fumbling as he found the knife he used earlier, as the voices blurred together.

His head started to pound and ache, and he whimpered, sensing someone approaching slowly.

Mikey faced the person in front of him, his hand clutching the knife in fear, trying to make sure the person didn't approach to close.

_Who the Shell!_

"Mikey, calm down," he heard vaguely, through the fog of pain and panic running through his head.

"Who are you?" he asked gruffly, his voice wavering as he tried to hold back the pain he was in.

He frowned when he heard a voice snap loudly through the din of yelling voices, "Quiet!" He flinched at the voice, wondering why it sounded familiar.

"Mikey, it's Donnie...you're safe. You're at home...do you remember what you were doing?" he heard Donnie's gentle voice asking him.

Mikey lowered the knife slowly, his blank eyes staring at where he heard Donnie's voice, "I...I..was just making breakfast..." he said, sniffing, trying to quell the need to cry.

"Shhh, it's okay Mikey, you did a good job. It wasn't your fault...come...let's get you cleaned up...alright?" Donnie said to him gently, "Leo is going to clean up, and I'll be on your right, and Raph will help you on your left. We're going to lift you up and bring you to the bathroom...okay?"

Mikey nodded, calming at the familiar touch of his older brothers, _But.._ "See... I can do it...See Leo, I…I can do it! Leo, I can cook!" he said, a touch of desperation in his voice as he was carried away, "I can go back to how I used to be!"

"'Course ya can nutball, no one eva said you couldn't...you're like tha turtle tha' never gave up," he heard Raph's voice on his left, holding him gently.

* * *

><p>Don's POV<p>

"I saw breakfast Mikey, it looks great. Let's get you all patched up, and into the wheelchair for another day or so, okay?" Don said gently. He eyed his brother's burns and injuries, fuming silently at Leo, furious he had reacted that way.

He had been watching Mikey, knowing Mikey needed to do it on his own. He was doing quite well. He fumbled a few times, and he remembered the fear he felt when Mikey fell. It took all of his will power to not help him, and almost cheered out loud when he saw Mikey get back, determined and keep trying.

_Mikey still has the power to bounce back…he can overcome this…he can do it…_Don thought with a smile, glancing at his younger brother who whimpered as he was helped to the bathroom to be cleaned off.

_Leo is becoming a problem though, he needs to realize Mikey needs to work at these challenges himself, and overcome the barriers of not being able to see. He's using his senses, he is managing to do things…he thought he'd never do…_

Don thought as he helped Mikey into the tub, sitting him on the seat he made for when Mikey showered. He turned on the shower head to warm water, making sure it wasn't too hot. Mikey had been more sensitive to the warm and cold water, more than usual at least.

Don gently cleaning the egg mixture off his leg, wincing at the redness that showed underneath, "You got some slight burns here Mike…I want you in a wheelchair for a few days while it heals, alright?"

_This is going to set him back... why did this have to happen to you my little brother? I wish I can do more..._

* * *

><p>Mikey's POV<p>

"'Kay, Donnie," Mikey whispered, staring blankly at the wall, curling away a little, feeling guilty, "I'm sorry."

"It's not yur fault Mikey, it's okay…what happ'ned to yur hand?" Raph asked curiously, seeing the small droplets of blood on Mikey's palm.

Mikey tensed up, his hands curling into a fist shape, causing it to bleed a bit more, "Nothin'," he said, and his head down, shoulders slumped. The excitement of actually being able to cook and doing it was slowly fading, and all he could think about was his mistakes. _Leo must be right…I must be wrong. I shouldn't have tried…I'm useless... I can't do anything right…_

He heard Raph talking, "Mikey? Com'n bro, look at me," before he cut himself off, and Mikey stiffened at the words. Raph must've realized what he said because he quickly swore, "Shit Mikey, I'm sorry. I meant.." faltering with his words.

Mikey spoke, cutting him off, his voice hallow as his depression grew inside, "I…I wish I can look at you Raphie…I wish I can see you all…" bringing his fist to his chest, squeezing it, feeling comforted by the pain.

"Mikey, please stop that, you're making it worse!" Don chided gently, reaching over to grab Mikey's hand to stop him. Mikey winced, tensing as Don forced his hand open, his fingers gently touching the deep cut, looking it over.

"I'm sorry," Mikey said sadly, letting Don look at it.

"Mikey, it's okay…you're going through a hard time right now, and you're still adjusting," Don told him, trying to sound more positive.

"I want to go to sleep Donnie, I'm tired," Mikey responded.

"Okay Mike, lemme wrap up this leg with some cream, so it won't hurt, and your hand needs to be wrapped. No using your hand for a day or so, and you're in the wheelchair for 2 days," Don informed Mikey.

"'Kay Donnie," Mikey said, sighing. He felt Donnie's hands putting some kind of cream on his leg that had been burned, and wrap something around it. He felt the world blur slightly, not paying attention as Don and Raph spoke. His eyes closed tiredly, and felt himself being picked up, instantly falling asleep when he realized it was Raph carrying him.

_I'm so tired… tired of feeling like this…I want to be like them…I want to be me… I want to see…I don't want to forget about them….I don't wanna forget what they look like and it's feeling like I am…_

_I want to be normal…_

_I want to see…._

And he faded away into the darkness, his body relaxing as he drifted asleep.


	10. Confessions

**A/N: Wow, I'm on a role! LOL, here's another chapter. Amonrapheonix helped me with this chapter so a Big Salute goes to her! Thankies!**

**Enjoy**

* * *

><p>Chapter 10<p>

Don watched as his brother fell asleep and sighed deeply, shaking his head. _What more can I do...I thought I was really getting through to him... but its like he's fading away..._

"He's gunna be a'ight Donnie, you'll see," Raph said quietly from behind him, "He ain't ever gonna quit...he's too stubborn to just give in."

"I don't know Raph...it's getting worse...his depression...seems to be growing more intense..." Don said, glancing up at Raph, wiping his hands on a towel.

Raph shook his head, "Don, we jist gotta help 'im. He WILL get through t'is," one hand gripping Don's shoulder. "We need to work on Leo, he's gettin' to..." paused, looking like he was thinking of how to say it nicely, but growled, shaking his head, "He's bein'a nuisance...Mikey ain't no invalid...he can still do shit he useta do...and Leo needs to realize that.."

Don sighed, taking a glance at Raph, his own eyes depressed, "But Raph...I don't know what else I can do...I tried everything to make things easier for Mikey, and he's doing great. He can move around the lair nicely, he is more confident moving on his own..."

"Yeah, but this is gonna set 'im back!" Raph said angrily, "He's tryin' so hard, Leo ain't budging, we gotta confront 'im!"

Don nodded, sighing, "I...I just don't know what else I can do...Master Splinter hasn't been much help, except for giving some advice... but now...he's getting old Raph. I don't think he can handle so much drama anymore."

"What do you mean by tha' Donnie?" Raph asked, his head turning sharply to his brother. He had heard the wavering tone filled with grief and it scared him.

"Haven't you noticed Master Splinter hasn't been around that much?" Don asked quietly, remorse in his voice.

"Yeah, I was gonna ask ya about it, I kinda thought he get up with all tha yellin'" Raph said shrugging.

"Raph, Master Splinter... he's sick... has been for awhile...there's n...nothing I can do to help...so he asked for medicine to help deal with the pain...it makes him sleep a lot," Don explained sadly, a tear drifting down his cheek, "I'm sorry."

"He's dyin'?" Raph asked, choked and upset, "And you didn't think ta tell us! We hadda right ta know!" standing up, fists clenched in anger.

"RAPH!" Don's voice broke through the fog of anger growing in his mind, "I couldn't tell you! Master Splinter, I... we found out the day before Mikey was shot, and afterwards, trying to help Mikey and deal with Master Splinter, was confusing and hard, and we just forgot... now...now... Mikey is in a lot of mental anguish, as well as Leo and you."

Raph was about to burst out in righteous anger, wanting to scream with the knowledge he was just given, but Don continued, explaining to him as his voice shook, "Master Splinter wanted to wait until Mikey was in a better frame of mind, and that we would be able to handle the news on top of everything else!"

"YOU HAD NO RIGHT TA EV-" but Don covered his mouth quickly, shooting him an angry glare as he pushed Raph out of the room.

Raph pushed him away as soon as the door was closed, keeping his mouth until Don shut Mikey's door. He glared at Don, sticking a finger in his face, getting into his personal space, seething, "You had no right ta even keep something like tha' from his sons. You should have tole us weeks ago!"

Don glared, slapping his hand down, tensing in anger as he shoved Raph away from him, "When should I have told you Raph? Huh! The day we got the results? When Mikey was shot! When Raph!" he asked, his voice scathing and filled with pain, "I wanted to tell you but it's Master Splinter! Our father! He told me not to say anything until the time was right! I need some help Raph, but if you can't handle it, then maybe I shouldn't have said anything!"

Raph growled, punching Don hard across the face, the fury and the pain at hearing his father was terminal, broke in his mind, as he attacked Don, to furious to stop punching.

He punched, ducking and swiping at Don, tears growing in his eyes, _Not Master Splinter, it's not true! _ Raph grunted as a fist slammed into the side of his eye, a sharp cracking noise echoed in his head, his eye instantly swelling.

He growled, punching Don back, the pain in his eye flashed through him, throbbing. He tried opening it, feeling dizzy and sick.

* * *

><p>Don's POV:<p>

Don grunted, throwing his own fists up as he started punching back and blocking. He winced as he felt another blow across his face, feeling the lip tear on his teeth, tasting the instant copper taste of blood in his mouth.

He struggled with Raph, immediately crouching down, his leg stretched out, as he did a sweeping kick, knocking Raph down. He immediately jumped on him; furious and upset, tears ran down his cheeks at everything he had to hold back the last few weeks.

"Why can't you understand? Jesus Raph, do you think I wanted to not tell you! Or Leo, or Mikey? I wanted to tell you everything instead of holding back! But I COULD NOT DEAL WITH YOU OR THEM AT THE TIME! " he screamed angrily, his fists moving to punch Raph in the face once more.

This time, on the opposite side of Raph's face, when all of a sudden, his fist was grabbed from behind, another green arm holding it back.

"ENOUGH! STOP THIS! YAMETE!"

Don froze, breathing hard, the tears making his vision black for a few minutes, "L...leo?" he asked, looking up, confused.

"Don, what the Hell are you doing?" he heard Leo ask.

It seemed so far away, and his heart was beating fast.

"Get off of Raph Don, geez, what are you fighting about!" Leo's voice drifted from the haze, and he sighed, confused.

Don shook his head tiredly, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I...I...God, I can't keep doing this! It's not right or fair that I'm put in this position!" he said, his heart aching as he forced his eyes open, ignoring the throbbing coming from his lip and the pain in his plastron.

"Don, please, I know you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment, but I need you to come and look at Raph...his...eye...doesn't look right.." Leo said, kneeling over Raph who was grunting, trying to swat Leo's arms away.

"Le've me 'lone," Raph grunted, trying to push himself up.

Don scurried over, eyes wide in shock at what he had done, rambling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh God, Raph, please, stay still...this is bad, this is bad," he said, his hands shaking as he reached out to take a look.

Raph hissed and recoiled in pain as Don reached out, touching his cheekbone. "Ahh Don'e, fuck, tha' hirts!" yanking his face away.

Don's eyes were wide, his brain moving miles a minute, his eyes flashing up to Leo, "Leo, get me my flashlight and some ice, NOW!" and turned to Raph, "Raph, you need to stay still, please. I'm sorry but this is serious, now if you don't, I will be forced to drug you with muscle relaxant to get you to stop moving. Now will you listen!" he said sternly, looking into Raph's other eye.

Raph grunted, nodding his head weakly.

_It's dilated and glazed, definitely sign of damage...his other eye is completely swollen, below and above the eye socket. Hmmmm, that looks really bad..._

"Raph, focus, I need you to tell me whether or not you are dizzy or nauseous..." Don said sternly, his finger touching the lower edge of the eye rim, wincing as he felt it move slightly.

_Crap...I think I broke it...I hope it's just a fracture..._

"Raph, can you look up and then down for me?" Don asked gently, trying to get Raph to focus on him.

Raph grunted something, a muttered, "Y'sh," his good eye red and glazed, trying to bob his head up, and then down, but was unable to.

_Shoot, I was hoping he would be able to. _

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Don questioned, holding up 1 finger in front of Raph's face.

Raph groaned, "Three gen's" he slurred, slumping on the cold floor.

_Concussion, possible fracture, crap, I guess I screwed this up to. _

He smiled at Leo, who handed him the flashlight, checking Raph's dilation, placing the ice immediately under Raph's swollen eye.

"Leo, I'm going to need your help moving Raph to the infirmary," Don said, his voice wavered slightly, as he reached down to help Raph up.

"Let's go Raph..." he said with a sigh, helping Leo with bringing Raph's staggering form into the medical bay.

"Donnie, what did you do to him?" Leo asked gently, helping as he carried Raph to the medical bay.

"We fought Leo…it was stupid and reckless…and we didn't hold back…I…I think I did something pretty bad to his eye socket but I won't know until I look at it," Don said, his voice wavering with guilt.

"So what the Shell happened to cause you both to loose it?" Leo said, grunting as he lifted Raph's body onto the bed.

"Honestly, it was about you at first, Leo," Don replied, examining the swollen eye, wincing as he saw how bad the fracture is, sighing, "Then I told him some news that he wasn't prepared for and it all blew up from there."

"T'll 'im," Raph growled out, slapping Don's arm, agitated.

Don looked down at Raph, flinching at the injuries, "I can't Raph. I wasn't even supposed to tell you and now look what happened!"

Raph slapped his arm away, pushing himself up, crying out as his head whirled around, and wavering on the bed.

Don held him down, struggling, "RAPH, you can't move like this! Your injuries are pretty bad, and I need you to stay calm, alright. I think I might have fractured your eye socket and any sudden or violent movements, can make it worse! Or possibly dislodge a bone fragment; I need you to be calm."

Raph shook his head, gesturing to Leo, staring hard at Don, anger still blazing in his good eye. _Tell him_ they were saying.

Don sighed, "Lie down and be calm, and I'll tell him." He watched at Raph calmed, lying back down on the bed. He walked over to the cabinet, pulling out a needle and a small bottle, filling a syringe, "I'm going to give you a mild painkiller Raph. This might hurt while I'm fixing it, okay?"

Raph nodded weakly but still alert. Don's hands moved automatically, patching Raph up slowly. He was treating Raph's eye when he slowly started to speak to Leo, "About three weeks before Mikey was shot, Master Splinter came to me. He was telling me he was feeling ill lately, and that it was draining him."

Leo frowned, interrupting, "He never said anything like that to me Don."

Don sighed, glancing up, "Look, this is hard enough to speak of, please let me finish and stay calm."

Leo held up his palms in an 'okay' gesture, and said, "Sorry, go ahead."

He continued, "Anyway, I did some testing but was only finding some elevated white cells. I didn't understand so I called Leatherhead. We did a few more tests. The day before Mikey was shot, Leatherhead confirmed both our findings. Master Splinter's lungs were showing signs of respiratory failure, and his organs were showing signs of weakening."

"What does that mean Don?" Leo said, his voice strained, fear in his voice.

Don glanced up, "It means Master Splinter is dying, he doesn't have a lot of time left. He's dying Leo...that's why he's always gone...and leaving you in charge...he's been taking medication, heavy medication for the last few weeks...it makes him sleep for long periods of time."

"YOU'RE LYING!" Leo screamed at him, before turning, running from the room.

Leo ran from the room, tears building as he yanked the door opened, not even seeing Mikey standing nearby, shock and fear on his face. He ran past, his vision blurred as he yanked the door of the lair open, and ran out.

Mikey stood there, against the wall, sliding down, his own tears falling as he processed everything he heard in the last 15 minutes.

Inside the medical bay, Don flinched when he heard the door of the lair open, and then slam shut. He glanced at Raph, seeing the underlining anger and disgust on his face. His heart was aching painfully in his chest as he walked to his desk, hiding his face inside his arms as he started to cry.

_I can't fix everything...I'm sorry..._


	11. Trying to Understand Leo's POV

**A/N: Wow, I'm a roll, hehe. I won't be able to update until next weekend, except for Discovery, which will continue to be updated each day. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

_NO, it can't be true! Master Splinter is NOT dying. It's just a joke...a sick joke...it has to be. _

Leo paused in his running, a disturbing look on his face, tears still running down his cheeks, "But Don isn't like that. He wouldn't joke about that...he knows that it's not something you can joke about."

He sighed, walking toward the old lair, trying to think things through. He smiled tiredly as he saw the entrance of the lair, walking inside. Memories cascaded in his mind.

* * *

><p>'"<em>Com'n Leo, it's not a big deal! We're just gonna play over here. Me and Mikey just want to watch the water flow, and make our paper boats float!"10 year old Donnie said excitedly. <em>

_10 year old Mikey was standing beside him, his blue eyes wide with excitement, "Please Leo?"_

"_I don't know guys, Master Splinter doesn't usually like us playing near the water. It's dangerous," he said softly. _

"_Aw, com'n Fearless, let the brats play. We'll watch them. We won't let nuthin' happ'n to them," Raph said smiling, he was in a surprisingly good mood that day. _

"_I made some for you too Raphie, if you wanna play with us. We're gonna see what one goes faster. Yours is red," Mikey said smiling up at Raph, eyes shining with happiness. _

_Leo sighed, feeling a little left out, "Alright guys, go ahead, go play, I'll watch."_

_Don rolled his eyes, "I made one for you too Leo. Yours is blue, just like our colours. We can race...Come play with us, it's okay to relax sometimes, and be our brother. Please?"_

_Leo bit his lip, struggling internally for a moment, before he just relaxed. "Okay, let's go play!" He chuckled at seeing the looks on their faces, and then grunted as Mikey hugged him hard. _

_"Yay! I missed you playing with us!" he said excitedly, "and when we get home, maybe we can play cards or monopoly. You know it's fun now, and -" Mikey stopped talking when Raph covered his mouth. _

_"Shush numbskull, he agreed ta play, don't scare 'im off," Raph said, tugging Mikey's head band. _

_"Hey..." Mikey whined, slapping Raph's hand playfully. _

_Leo smiled, watching the interchange curiously,_ "_Wow, you guys miss me that much? I never gone anywhere...I've just been training."_

"_Of course we missed you Fearless. Eva' since Masta' Splinter made you Leader, ya forgot tha' playin' wit' us is still allowed...nice ta know ya r'member how ta have fun and be a brother," Raph said, his voice low and deepened. He looked sheepish, for acting and saying what he did. _

"_I know I'm a brother Raph, it's just hard to know..." Leo trailed off, looking a little upset. _

_Raph placed an arm on Leo, yanking him close, ignoring their little brothers who watched silently, "I know Leo, I do, but you keep forgettin' tha' bein Leader don't mean you stop bein' a brother, or stop believin' tha' we can't take care of ourselves. We know how ta be careful, Leo, but we miss you. Tha' all. Now com'n, we gots about a hour or two before Masta' Splinter comes home."_

_Leo remained silent as they walked towards the sewer tunnel, hearing Mikey and Don talking excitedly about their boats riding fast. He watched Raph who was in front, and how his eyes would dart around, checking everything, automatically, just like he did on his own. _

_He smiled as he thought, 'Raph makes a lot of good points...I know he'll protect them too, I just have to remember..I can be both...'_

* * *

><p>He remembered playing with his brothers that day, having fun for the first time in days. He recalled the long training sessions Master Splinter would force him into, making sure he memorized everything, making sure he was prepared to be leader.<p>

_I hated those lessons...but I became good...so I can protect them. I know Master Splinter hated it as well, but it was worth it. I will protect them._

Leo walked into the old dojo, seeing the collapsed wall, and sighed sadly, more memories drifting.

* * *

><p>"<em>Master Splinter, I don't understand, why do we have to wear the blind-fold? How can we see when we can't?" Leo asked curiously. <em>

"_It's not a matter of if you can see or not, my son. It is a matter on how you can sense what is near, or far. How you train your body to sense what is nearby," Splinter said, as he was tying the last knot on Mikey's head who was wriggling, trying to pull away. _

"_But Sensei, I don't like the dark. Why do I gotta do this?" Mikey whined, nervous. _

"_Because my son, you must learn how to navigate when you are blind. For when you loose your sight, it is when you are most vulnerable," Splinter said sagely. _

"_I don't like this," Mikey whispered. _

_Leo frowned, not liking how scared Mikey sounded 'I mean, com'n, he's only 11!' "Master Splinter, I'm sorry, but shouldn't we work with Mikey's fear of the dark first, before doing this exercise?" he asked, his head tilted towards Splinter's voice. _

"_He must conquer this fear first. If he is to became comfortable in the darkness, then he would not fear it. The darkness is merely something he must learn to navigate on his own, rather than depend on others to keep him safe," Splinter said gently. _

* * *

><p>Leo frowned at the memory, the words 'The darkness is merely something he must learn to navigate on his own.' "Geez, I've been a real jerk to Mikey...Master Splinter is right, I should have let Mikey battle against being blind, work with it, accept it, rather than trying to protect him."<p>

Leo sighed, shaking his head, disappointed in himself, recalling how he reacted earlier to seeing Mikey cooking on his own. For a moment, he remembered how scared Mikey was when he yelled at him, and how he got hurt.

"God, why can't I do anything right anymore?" he said, needing to talk, but not having anyone to talk to. _I don't know what to do anymore! Mikey needs me, I know he does. He's scared of the dark. I mean, geez, he has a nightlight, he denies it of course, but I know he does._

He headed for a ladder he knew was near April's apartment. _I need someone to talk to..._

* * *

><p>He tapped on April's window, fervently wondering if she was home, knowing he should have called first. He smiled when he saw the light turn on, and April's green eyes peeking out the window.<p>

"Leo, what are you doing here?" she whispered as she opened the window quietly. She let Leo inside, locking the window behind her, before turning towards him, "Why aren't you at home with your brothers? They need you right now!"

Leo sighed, turning around, his own eyes a blaze of confusion, "I know April, but I don't know what to do. I've been making a mess of everything lately, and Master Splinter, and then Don and Raph, and...April...I don't know what to do anymore..." he said, obviously distressed.

April smiled gently, "I'll go make some tea. Why don't you sit down and explain to me what is going on, and then we'll figure out something, okay?" patting Leo's arm.

Leo smiled weakly, "Thanks April," and sat down on the nearby chair, facing towards April, and starting talking. He told April everything that happened since Mikey's accident, finishing with Raph and Don's fight, and the news he just got about Splinter.

April listened quietly, just letting him speak, taking in the news about Splinter with a small inhaled gasp, tears shining in her eyes.

Leo finished quietly, "I accused Don of lying. I didn't want to believe it...April...if what he is saying true...how am I going to be able to help my brothers? I can't be like their dad, or even their sensei...I hardly remember how to be a brother...what do I do?"

April was silent for a moment, taking in everything she heard, before she finally spoke. "Sweetie, all you have to do right now, if just focus on being a support for your brothers. Show them that you can be there when things get rough, but also allow them to make their own mistakes. Mikey knows he has a handicap now, and needs to live with it. He can't do that if you force him to stop each step of the way. He has to make mistakes."

"But those mistakes might get him hurt!" Leo said, worry in his eyes as he got up from the couch and started to pace.

"I know that Leo, but remember when you were younger, when you learned how to practice Ninjitsu?" April asked, questioning Leo.

"Yeah... What about it?" Leo said, perplexed.

"You got hurt sometimes, right? Scratches, bruises, sometimes even cut, or broken bones, right?" April asked, trying to make a point.

"Yes, so what, we all got hurt. It was a way to learn...to not..make...mistakes..." Leo's eyes lit up with understanding, "Mikey needs to learn from his mistakes, to push through them. I've been preventing him from making a mistake...so he can't learn..."

April gave a small smile as she watched Leo pace for a few more minutes, talking to himself.

"Leo...don't you think you need to be more focussed on helping them now? Donnie seems to be overwhelmed, and Mikey seems to be getting depressed. Raph is trying to be supportive, more so with Mikey because of his knowledge of Miss. Morrison, but they all need you too," April said, catching Leo's focus.

"I know April...it's...it's just that everything...while I'm watching it, seems to be always in slow motion rather then in fast forward,. It's like, my brain is not processing everything as fast as I used to...you know, I had been trying to get more time with Master Splinter lately, trying to get advice, but he's always in either meditation, or sleeping, and now...now I know why..." Leo said, eyes shining, "I don't feel like I can do this alone...it's hard."

April sighed, getting up. She walked over, stopping Leo's pacing as she put a hand on his forearm. "Leo, you aren't alone. You have your brothers, you have me and Casey. You have all your friends to help you. You aren't alone...you're brothers...they are going through the same mental anguish you are...and they need your help, just like you need theirs. Talk with them, trust me, it will help."

Leo frowned, "What about Splinter? Donnie says he's dying...how do I just...prepare myself for that?"

April smiled sadly, shaking her head, her red hair flowing lightly down her back, "You don't Leo...you can never prepare yourself for the death of someone close to you..." she said, locking her green eyes with Leo, "You savour each moment with them. Love them, cherish them, and when they finally pass, mourn them. Grieve. Remember them...that's all you can do, sweetie, it's all you can ever do..."

Leo nodded, silent as he soaked in April's words, remembering them as he watched a tear slip down her cheek. "Thanks April," he whispered, hoarsely.

April smiled, wiping her cheek with her right hand, the tear disappearing, "Go, be with your brothers, and be safe on your way home, alright?"

Leo nodded, "You know, you're the best big sister we ever had!" he said, smiling weakly as he walked to the window, undoing the locking mechanism.

April smiled, "I'm the only big sister you ever had silly," shaking her head amused, "Now go, and tell Don, Mikey and Raph if they ever need to talk, I'm right here."

Leo nodded, slipping out the window, but before he left, he stopped, pausing, "April, we love you, and everything you do for us...you're not just our big sister..."

"I'm not?" April asked, puzzled, looking out the window at Leo, "What else am I?"

"You're our family...we chose you...most people don't get to choose their family, but out of everything that has happened to us since we revealed ourselves...you are one of the best people we have ever chose to adopt, you're family..." Leo said, smiling, "And we cherish that everyday."

April smiled at him, "Thanks Leo...I know...you're my family as well...I'll be down with groceries in two days...okay."

Leo smiled, "Okay April, I'll see you later."

He disappeared in the shadows a second later, not a sound was heard. April smiled, watching, before she locked the window again, and walked back to her living room.

* * *

><p>Leo walked back into the lair, frowning at how eerily quiet it was, and his heart quickened. He hurried, walking faster, pushing the door of the lair open. His eyes widen in shock at the debris still evident in the living room from Raph's and Don's fight earlier. <em>I need to clean that up...I don't want to let Mikey trip over that...<em>

Against the wall, halfway towards the medical bay and Raph's room, was Mikey, leaning against the wall, looking unconscious.

Leo didn't know how fast he moved, it was like a split second later, he was beside Mikey, one hand reaching shakily to touch his neck, while the other called out, "Mikey, are you okay?"

When his hand almost touched Mikey's neck, he gasped in shock as his wrist was grabbed in a familiar fashion as earlier, and turned to the side, feeling the bone creak as it neared breaking. Mikey's voice whispering hoarsely, "Don't touch me...who are you?" he asked, face turned towards Leo.

"Mikey...it's Leo...it's okay...but you're hurting my wrist," Leo said gently, not wanting to spook his brother.

Mikey dropped the wrist with an inhaled gasped, "Sorry Leo...so sorry..." he whispered, turning his head away.

"It's okay Mikey. I'm glad those lessons about sensing your surroundings with Raph are working really well. Are you okay? Why are you on the floor?" Leo asked, taking a step back to give Mikey some room.

Mikey shook his head, "I...I was trying to go see Donnie and Raphie..."

"Why?" Leo questioned, concern in his voice, "Are you in pain or something?"

Mikey shook his head, "No...I...I heard them fighting...and...I thought...they might need to talk or something...then you left and I could hear Donnie crying...I just couldn't make it inside...I started to cry too..."

Leo frowned, his heart aching hard at Mikey's words. _You're still trying to help us, rather then us helping you...geez kiddo, I don't know how you do it..._

"I'm sorry Mikey, for leaving like I did, but I just...after everything, and Donnie's words...I. had to take a breather..." Leo started to explain.

"You mean about Master Splinter dying?" Mikey asked, looking blindly towards Leo, his voice steady but detached.

"H...how did you know?" Leo questioned, perplexed. From what he understood earlier, Don had just told Raph, and then him.

"Heh...ever since I lost my sight, I've been able to hear a lot better..." Mikey said, a strange sad smile on his face.

"Really? Like what?" Leo asked, curiously, trying to distract his little brother of talking about their father dying. It was working.

Mikey shrugged, his hands waving in different directions as he pointed out the sounds he could hear, "I can hear Donnie typing in the medical bay. Raph is snoring, but it sounds off...like he's struggling. I can hear Master Splinter's little wind chime in his room...even the hum from the coffee machine...I think Donnie needs to fix it or something..."

"Wow, that is impressive, you've been really working hard, haven't you?" Leo asked, impressed and proud.

"No...not really...things...are just louder. I'm more sensitive to the noise...the vibrations. Donnie says my brain is compensating for the loss of sight, but increasing my hearing to help me adapt...it's hard Leo...but I can do it," Mikey said sadly, playing with his fingers, upset.

Leo sighed deeply, looking over Mikey, wincing at the sight of the burned part of his leg that he had caused, "I'm sorry Mikey, I...I just wanted to keep you safe, and the only way I know how...is to prevent you from making mistakes...that could hurt you."

Mikey didn't say anything, just sighed, "I'm tired Leo, and cold, can...can you help me to my room? Please?"

"Of course...here, I'm grabbing your right arm, and then pulling it over my shoulders, okay?" Leo explained as he helped his little brother. He tucked Mikey in bed, shortly afterwards, about to leave with a whispered, "Night Mikey."

"Hey Leo..." Mikey called to him, right before he left through the door. _How did he know I was just near the door...right, his hearing...hmmm...might be a good lesson in there..._

"Yeah Mikey?" Leo asked, glancing back.

"Can you turn my nightlight on? You know...I may not be able to see it...but I can hear it...Raph made it into a small tune for me...I know it's stupid...I...I just like the sense of safety it gives me," Mikey said sheepishly on the bed.

"It's not stupid Mikey. I understand...right now...we all need something that helps..." Leo said, turning the light on. He smiled when he recognized the tune, "Is that Master Splinter and Raph?"

"Ya...Raphie did something to record them both...he knows they are usually the ones that help me when a nightmare hits...and he thought this would help," Mikey explained.

"How do you get the song to play?" Leo asked curiously, waving his hand in front of it, hearing it play again. _Wow, I didn't know Master Splinter and Raph would sing such a beautiful lullaby for Mikey...it sounds like the one Raph made when Mikey was little..._

"If I touch the floor, or hit my table, it goes off," Mikey explained, tapping his bedside table.

The small tune started playing, the two voices singing nicely filtered through the room.

"Don helped as well?" Leo asked, grinning.

"Yeah..." Mikey said sleepily.

"Get some sleep Mikey...you need it," Leo said, smiling, before turning around and heading for the door.

"I will...night Leo..."

"Night Mikey..."


	12. Working Hard and Crashing

Chapter 12

Leo sighed as he stood outside Mikey's door, frowning as he felt the aching sadness that seeped from Mikey's room.

_It's not right for him to be so sad...I got to fix it somehow... _

Walking towards the medical bay, he ducked his head in, and saw Don working on the computer, and Raph patched up on the bed. He decided to let Raph sleep, and talk to Don.

"Donnie...can we talk?" he asked quietly.

He saw Donnie tense on the computer, freezing a moment, before Don's voice replied tiredly, "I'm not in the mood right now Leo, I'm kind of busy."

Leo winced at the tired tone, "Donnie, look, I came to apologize. You were right… the way I was acting with Mikey…it wasn't right. I just wanted to protect him, but that limited his growth. I'm sorry," he said contritely.

Don sighed, bringing his hands up to his face, leaning against the palms of his hands, responding tiredly, "It's not just you Leo…I'm tired…I'm doing what I can…but you aren't helping me."

Leo cringed, feeling the shame and guilt build inside him, "I know Donnie, and I'm sorry," he said sighing.

Don sighed, turning around, "Leo, he needs to learn to do it on his own! You can't protect him from everything. He's a big boy, he can handle it. You not believing that Mikey can't learn...or adapt...Leo, he's dying inside...can't you see that?"

Leo sighed, glancing away ashamed, "I'm sorry...I am. I wasn't doing what was right... I thought it was, but I was wrong. This family has gone through enough without me adding to it," and he glanced over to Raph, "What happened earlier?"

Don sighed, following Leo's gaze to Raph. "You weren't the only one to loose control Leo...me and Raph...well...you see the result..." touching his own face, the small line of stitches lining his lip.

Leo touched the swollen lip gently, "Wow..." he said, admiring the stitches, "Nice stitch work."

Don chuckled, "Yeah...it was a little hard..but it was annoying when it wouldn't stop bleeding...after I finished getting Raph all fixed up, I did this in the bathroom," he said smirking, "Kind of weird, but I did it."

Leo smiled sadly, before touching the bandage on Raph's face, "Is it really hurt that bad?"

Don's face fell, the guilt and remorse showing on his face as he nodded, "Yeah...I don't know how bad it is until Raph wakes up...I'm icing it right now."

Leo's eyes widened in shock, "So that's a bag of ice under the bandage?" touching the bandage once more, and was surprised it was cool and icy under the bandage.

Don sighed, "Yeah...I didn't know how else to keep it there. Raph keeps muttering and turning his head...so I got frustrated and just bandaged it on," as he walked over, and slowly started unravelling the bandage.

Leo watched quietly, sensing how uncomfortable Don was as he did it. Leo was shocked at how bruised and swollen Raph's face was, and was immediately concerned on how Raph's cheek seemed flattened. "Whoa..." he whispered, walking closer, "Don...it looks bad."

Don sighed, nodding his head, "The swelling went down, but if it is fractured...then he has to be very careful with a lot of things."

"Like what?" Leo asked, concerned.

"Well, Constant ice packs and decongestants at first. He also needs an antibiotic to prevent infection just in case. He has to rest for a few days and to avoid blowing his nose while the eye heals, at least for the first week or two," Don explained quietly, "but he's going to be in a lot of pain. Headaches also...I got some strong pain killers here, but I don't want to give him too much until he wakes up..."

Leo was silent for a moment, before asking, "Anything else I need to know?"

"Yeah...no fighting...if he got hit here...and it's fractures even more...or a piece gets broken off...he can possibly die," Don whispered, his voice wavering with remorse.

"Raph could die?" Leo choked out, immediately concerned, his eyes shooting up to Don, panicked.

Don shook his head, "I doubt it Leo, but it's a slim possibility...we just have to watch him and be careful."

Leo sighed, "It's all messed up...Don...what are we going to do?"

Don frowned, glancing up at him, "What do you mean Leo? What are we going to do about what?"

Leo sighed, "Don...everything is all messed up lately...Mikey's blind and disabled, Raph's hurt, you're hurt...Splinter's dying..." rubbing his forehead as his head started throbbing.

Don sighed, glancing away a little irritated, "Why are you asking me Leo? I screwed up...I couldn't save Mikey's sight, or his leg. I'm useless...I can't do anything right lately...the only thing I have been able to do is help Mikey adapt, and make meds for Splinter..."

Leo looked up, looking stern and a little angry, "You are far from useless Don. Never think you are! You saved Mikey's life that night, Raph's too. You saved us several times over, and you're helping Splinter. Don't ever think you are useless. You mean so much to all of us!"

Don's eyes widened at the words Leo said, and started stammering, "B..but I can't save them...I..." but then they were interrupted by a gruff voice, "F'rl'ss right g'nus."

Their eyes shot down to where Raph was looking up at them through his one good eye.

"Raph! How are you feeling?" Don asked quickly, his hands moving to the side, grabbing a flashlight.

Raph stared vaguely at the ceiling, his good eye glassy and fogged with pain. Leo reached over, touching Raph's arm, "Raph...Donnie needs you to concentrate and answer his questions, okay?"

Raph's eyes followed him, "Ya...got it..." he said trying to push himself up.

Leo sighed, knowing how stubborn Raph could be, and just simply put his hand on Raph's plastron, holding him in place. Raph grumbled but stayed still.

"Okay Raph...I want you to try and follow this light, okay?" Don asked, turning on the dim light.

Leo watched as Raph fumbled through the tests, his eye not really following to well to the light, making Leo worry. "Don?" he questioned, still waiting.

"I don't know yet...but it looks like it...Raph," Don called to him, turning his attention back to Raph.

"Ya?" Raph said, his eye closing tiredly.

"I'm going to probe your cheek but it's going to hurt. I need you to stay calm, okay?" Don said slowly.

"'kay," he said, yawning but cried out in pain, his hands shooting up to his face as he groaned in pain as Don started his examination.

Don winced, "Well...that confirmed it...Raph...it's fractured...you need to be careful," he said, as his fingers gently probed underneath Raph's swollen eye, ignoring the yelps and dark insults flowing from Raph's mouth as he inspected it.

Leo sighed, sitting down, "Raph, just leave him alone. He needs to do this."

"Ya, f'ckin' hirts...f'ck off," Raph said, yanking his face away angrily.

"Here, you need to ice it for awhile," Don said gently, "I can give you some Tylenol but no touching, no fighting and no colds!"

Raph glared at him, muttering, "Screw you!"

Leo stepped up, "Raph, just listen to him."

Don sighed, shaking his head, fed up with the day's event. He touched his forehead, irritated, a headache building, "Fine, you know what, Fine!" and threw down the ice pack beside Raph's bed. "I'm the bad guy, I get it! Treat me like crap if you want, Raph. This was your fault as much as it was mine... Just don't do anything stupid! That's all I ask. I'm going to my room, so stay away from me! Both of you!" and he stormed out.

Leo watched Don walked away, and sighed, "Well...at least we all screwed up tonight," he said, plopping down in the seat beside Raph. He picked up the small bottle of Tylenol, popping a few out. He handed two to Raph, and took two for himself.

After grabbing some water for both of them, he sat there in relative silence, just waiting for the meds to work and relieve the pain.

"'ikey...he didn't scr'w u'" Raph muttered tiredly, breaking the silence.

"What?" Leo asked, turning his head to look at him.

"Mikey..." Raph said, eyes still closed, "he didn't screw up...we did..."

"Get some sleep Raph...you need it," Leo said smiling, "and you're right. Mikey was the only one to get something right today."

Raph mumbled something, before his eyes closed, and he fell asleep. Leo covered him up with the blanket and got up stretching. He yawned and went to bed, knowing Raph should be good for the night.

Lying down on his bed, he yawned before quickly falling asleep, thinking, _We'll do better tomorrow...all of us..._

* * *

><p>Mikey POV<p>

Mikey woke up with a start, his heart racing and covered with a light layer of sweat. His hands shook as he pushed himself up, his eyes snapping open but all he saw was darkness.

_Wow, it's been a few days since I remembered that night..._ Mikey thought, leaning against the headboard, still trembling. His leg was throbbing slightly, and his head hurt, _why am I remembering that now...but it was so vivid...the smell...the sounds...the cool breeze on my skin as I ran. Enjoying the scenes of the night...the moon...how I wanted to paint it..._

Mikey felt a few tears building and slowly slipping down his cheeks, _I'm never going to paint again...it's so hard to really understand that...I miss it...the beauty...god...I remember Raph's face that night...god...he...he looked so scared..._

He recalled the moment of impact the bullet made as it hit his leg, then darkness as the bullet raced toward him, then nothing as the burning pain hit his head and then nothing.

Mikey shuddered as he sat on his bed, staring at nothing. _Why was it so hard... I'm so sick of feeling like this...this...useless lump..._

Mikey sighed as he threw off his blankets and grabbed his cane nearby. He recalled Don saying to use his wheelchair but he refused. He needed to do something that felt normal. That felt like him again.

He winced as his leg throbbed slightly as he moved, but pushed the thought aside. It was quiet in the lair...early morning he figured. He could hear Raph snoring nearby and smiled slightly, "Never fails..." he muttered.

He stopped once he reached the middle of the living room, trying to get focussed on his destination. Mikey frowned when he sensed Donnie was waking and wanted to hurry. Mikey knew where the dojo was and slowly walked that way, making sure he put his canes in front of him as a feeler, unsure of what could be in the way.

Thunk!

He stopped, his cane having hit the wall and he placed a hand out, feeling along the wall finding the sliding door of the dojo. Stepping inside, he inhaled the scent of sweat, incense, wood and steel.

He smiled as he shuffled over the mats, moving towards the weapons rack, remembering where it was, his hands ghosting over the rack, his hands picking up his weapons. The wood seemed to be polished and the chains oiled. _Donnie or Raphie must have done it for me..._ he thought weakly.

Grabbing his weapons, he placed them gently in his belt. His eyes were open but he couldn't see anything, so it was slightly strange being in the dojo. He was determined to get better and gently placed his canes against the wall.

He limped to the middle of the mats and started on a series of stretches for his leg, knowing stretching his injured leg correctly would ensure he would be able to move without his canes.

_It hurt_, he thought as the muscles stretched painfully and throbbed but he worked slowly, building himself up. Mikey slowly got to his feet, deciding to try a light series of katas to see how he would do.

He slowly moved his arms and legs, they were slightly heavy as he moved clumsy, doing a simple dragon punch and then a series of simple punches. He wondered about doing any moves with his leg but knew he wasn't up for it.

Mikey winced as he slightly moved his right leg forward, the muscle stretching slightly but he ignored it. He moved slowly, feeling like a child once more as he stumbled slightly. _I know I can do this...I hate this...I hate feeling helpless...I got to do this..._

He worked slowly, panting slightly 20 minutes later as he finished swinging his nunchuks around; finishing the practice he created for himself. His legs felt like Jell-o and throbbed from standing so long.

Mikey hurried to where he left his canes, leaning his weight heavily on them as he left the dojo, intending to go and take a nice warm shower.

His canes made a small clanking sound as he put more weight into moving, instinctively moving towards the bathroom. _I can't wait to get better...I know I can..._ he thought as he pushed a shaky hand on the bathroom door.

Half an hour later he slowly stepped out of the shower, his body relaxed and warm. He was tired now and carefully dried himself before heading to his room.

Collapsing on his bed, he smiled. A true smile, after so many days of now finding something to smile about, and it felt like when he felt the sun for the first time.

_**I can do it...I know I can...**_

* * *

><p>Over the next few weeks he worked in the early mornings to exercise and get better. He honed his skills, his leg now able to support him, but he still limped slightly. He could sense where his brothers were and enjoyed scaring them sometimes.<p>

He felt almost normal, like the way he used to be. Mikey got into a routine, relaxing as he completed each task he assigned himself. It felt good to know what he was going to do, and before he realized it, it was ingrained in him on what to do each day.

He was making himself a sandwich, peanut butter on toasted bread, when he heard Leo approaching him. He smiled as he continued buttering his bread, the smell of peanuts wafting in his nose.

"Yes Leo?" he called to his brother. Putting the knife down gently, he then put the lid back onto his jar of peanut butter.

"I wanted to talk to you about possibly joining us in the dojo...what do you think?" Leo said hesitantly.

Mikey smiled as he turned around, his plate in his hands, and limping to the table, "I don't know bro...I'm kinda set in how I am practicing..." he said.

"Mikey...we know you practice each day...it's why you are so much stronger...but we are a team of four and we miss you. We would love for you to join us again," Leo said sitting across from him, his chair making a small scratching sound.

Mikey took a bite of his toast sandwich, contemplating Leo's words, a feeling of unease growing in his stomach. _Working alone meant he knew he couldn't hurt his brothers if he made a mistake. What if he accidently over-reached with his nunchuks? Or if he attacked but didn't know who it was?_

He was already highly paranoid when it came to practicing on his own, but to be with his brothers when practicing? _Could he do it? _That fear built up inside and he put his sandwich down, "I...I don't know...I'm...I'm kind of used to being on my own."

"I know Mikey...but that's another problem..." Leo said with a sigh, Mikey heard him fidgeting, "You are always trying to be on your own! We're brothers and a team! We need you, just like you need us. Just try it Mike, you never know."

Mikey sighed, no longer hungry as he pushed his plate away. "I'll try Leo...but I can't see what you are doing. It's safer for me to be on my own...I don't want to hurt you guys."

"You won't hurt us Mike! I know you won't. We can help you hone your abilities to sense how we are moving and everything, just like how you can see..." Leo's voice trailed off.

Mikey sighed, standing up and limping to the sink, tossing his sandwich into the garbage under the sink and placing his plate inside. He felt scared and a growing sense of unease was growing in his stomach. "What time?" he asked quietly.

Leo spoke, his voice hesitant, "About 3:30, do you want us to tell you when it's time?"

Mikey stiffened slightly, "I can tell time Leo. April bought me a watch that tells the time outloud."

Mikey heard Leo inhale sharply, and knew he was about to apologize and cut him off, his hand waving sharply down, "It's okay Leo, you didn't know. I'm fine...I'll meet you guys in the dojo at 3:30...okay?"

"Okay Mike, thanks. I'm looking forward to it," Leo said softly, his voice filled with regret and eagerness, "We've missed you."

"How's Raph?" Mikey asked, "Is he still having headaches?"

Leo sighed, nodding, "Yeah, he has a migraine again today, so he's on light exercise only. Don said his injury should heal soon, but it's still going to cause him problems."

Mikey frowned, "I thought it was healed by now?"

Leo shook his head, but stopped as he realized that Mikey couldn't see him, and responded verbally, "No, not quite. Don said the bone will heal in about 3 months, since he keeps aggravating it. It's healed enough he can still have practice and go out, but he still has to be careful."

Mikey frowned at the information, "It can re-break?" he asked nervously, his stomach clenching at the thought of his nunchuks hitting Raph by accident.

"Yes, one hard hit in Raph's face can re-break it, so the rule is not to his about his chest, just on the off chance. He's mostly on practice and just recently started sparring with us. No weapons though." Leo explained.

Mikey nodded his head at the information, his stomach still clenched nervously, "Okay...um, I'll see you at practice..."

Mikey nodded, limping out of the kitchen and heading to his room. He closed the door quietly, and grabbed his journal from his desk. He quickly flipped it open, his hands waving over the pages, trying to find the next blank page. He grinned as his hand hit smooth paper and grabbing the attached pen, he started to write.

_I'm getting better..._

_I was asked to join them today... I was going to say no. I'm scared...I'm scared I'm going to hurt them. That I might miss or screw up...I'm scared that I can't do it. What if I can't? Master Splinter always said I was natural at detecting their energies...that I always almost knew what they were going to do next. It was one reason I got so good at dodging. _

_But now I can't see it...I can't see anything...what...what if I can't do this..._

Mikey sat there, just thinking about what he was about to do, his stomach rolled with unease. He didn't know if he wanted to do this, but he agreed. He checked his watch, pressing the little button so the watch can speak outloud.

3:17pm

He gulped, getting up. His hands shook slightly as he moved towards the dojo, taking his time, trying to contain how scared he was. He walked to the dojo, walking inside, terrified and nervous.

* * *

><p>Splinter POV<p>

_My son has arrived but he is uneasy and scared. He does not know it, but he is showing his fear. His blue eyes looked fogged over...I wonder why..._

_This is the first time I have seen his eyes clearly...he usually keeps them closed..._

"Donatello," he called softly, his old bones were weary but he needed to be there for his sons. He knew was time was growing short.

"Yes Sensei?" Donatello asked as he walked over, smiling as he glanced at Mikey on the other side of the room, talking with Raph and Leo.

"I have not seen Michelangelo's eyes in so long but I have noticed they are no longer blue...it is now becoming slightly gray...is this normal for his injury?" Splinter asked concerned.

Donatello's eyes widened, "What?" and his head snapped toward Michelangelo, concern flashing over his body. "No, the iris shouldn't have faded, it should stay the same..."

"Iris?" Splinter questioned, confused by the word.

Donatello turned back to him, a small frown on his face, "The iris is the color part of the eye. That's strange..." and he broke off, intending to go to Michelangelo.

Splinter slowly got to his feet to follow, grabbing Donatello's arm to help him walk. His body was old and he had been feeling it lately. Splinter glanced over, seeing Michelangelo hesitating around the dojo, his hands staying on the wall, staying close to it.

"Practice is starting soon, but Michelangelo, please allow Donatello to examine your eyes for a moment," Splinter said quietly.

"My eyes, why would he need to see my eyes?" Michelangelo said, obviously startled by the request.

"They seem to be cloudy Mikey, a film looks to be on your eyes, and I want to make sure they aren't infected," Don explained, "Have they been itchy or discomfort in them lately?" he asked, touching Mikey's cheek to pull him closer, only pulling away at the violent flinch Mikey did as he stepped back.

"No, I haven't felt anything. They are fine...other than not seeing anything," Michelangelo replied, perhaps a little too darkly, and filled with anger. He continued to speak, "It's not like I can see them to tell you. Can we just practice please?" he asked me.

Splinter frowned, but if it was not impairing his youngest, and didn't appear to hurt him, he would continue with practice, "Very well Michelangelo but after practice, please see Donatello. We do not want them to get worse if we can prevent it," and turned, Donatello helping me move back to my spot.

"Not like it matters," Michelangelo had muttered as he followed behind me, not knowing I had heard him clearly.

"Leonardo is leading today's practice. No weapons, sparring and katas only. Raphael, you will be sparring with Donatello, and Leonardo, you will spar with Michelangelo," Splinter began, "first we must sit and meditate, bring our minds into calm spirits, thinking and focusing clearly," he said, as he got into position, lighting the one candle.

He clapped his hands and the room was filled with darkness and he spoke without realizing it, "Concentrate on the flame, allow your spirit to be drawn into the fire, the warmth that will surround you and embrace the darkness," he stated.

Splinter gazed at his sons, able to see clearly in the darkness, and saw Michelangelo scowling in his direction, and frowned, before he realized his words would insult his youngest. He immediately said, "Michelangelo, I apologize. I did not mean to distress-" but Michelangelo spoke, his voice filled with sadness and anger, "I'm fine Master Splinter. It's okay. Just continue the lesson...please," the last note was pleading.

Splinter nodded, seeing his other sons fidgeting in discomfort, and he dropped it. "Breathe in deeply; concentrate on locating where you feel tension and discomfort. Try to breathe it out with each exhale," he said calmly, taking a deep breath, hearing his sons do the same, then breathe back out.

He could sense his sons energy, some filled with tension, others filled with resentment. He wished he could help his sons battle their obvious struggles. He had been so tired lately, his joints felt heavier, and his body was slowing down. He knew he was dying and had struggled to get out of bed this morning.

Donatello had been helping him, giving him immune boosters and pain medicine, but he was growing tired. After 15 minutes of silence, he instructed his sons to start practice. He watched as Leonardo struggled not to help Michelangelo with his forms while they did their katas.

He saw Michelangelo as he stood apart from his brothers, making sure to keep a certain distance from Leonardo. He frowned, wondering if he should help, but refrained. Michelangelo had to learn how to assimilate back into the team.

He turned his head and watched Donatello working with Raphael, seeing Raphael's glares towards Donatello. Donatello being careful in his katas, holding back, while Raphael wants to lash out, to yell and scream at him. _It was my decision to have Donatello with hold that information, but now I know I caused a fraction by my actions..._ _My sons are falling apart, standing apart, and I am unable to help show them, they need eachother...what do I do Master Yoshi...tell me how to help my sons..._ he pleaded to the spirits, sadness overwhelming his core, tears falling down his face.

* * *

><p>Mikey's POV<p>

Mikey was nervous, his body tense as he worked through his katas uneasily, a little sloppy and uneven with Leonardo so close to him. Suddenly he felt a sense of sadness overwhelming the room and he got tense, glancing around confused, he stopped his katas. He heard Leo stopping right beside him, and jumped as Leo spoke.

He turned his head toward him, listening, "Mikey, are you okay?"

Mikey frowned, biting his lip, glancing around before asking Leo, "Where am I in the room Leo? What wall am I facing?" he asked, flushing a little at having to ask.

"You're facing the south wall, towards where Master Splinter usually sits...why?" Leo responded.

Mikey frowned, before walking forward, ignoring Leo's small protest. He reached out blindly to touch Master Splinter, knowing it was him that was broadcasting the sadness. It wasn't all he could sense, he could practically feel Raph's resentment and Don's fear. Leonardo was annoyed and worried. All of them were trained to know what eachother was feeling, but it was rare for any of them to sense emotions from Splinter.

He could sense deep sadness and pain from all around Splinter, and felt his own heart clench painfully, "Master Splinter, it's gonna be okay," he whispered, staring blankly at a wall, wishing he could help his father.

"I apologize, my son, for not being there for you...I do not have long left, and you are all breaking apart. I wish I can help you all," Splinter responded, holding Michelangelo by the face, ignoring the blank eyes, but wiping the tears away gently.

"You're still here Master Splinter, it's gonna be okay...I'm gonna be okay...I promise," Mikey said gently, his hands shaking slightly as he touched Master Splinter's face, feeling the familiar feeling of it, the fur smooth and coarse. He felt choked up as he started to come to terms he couldn't see any of them, and it hurt.

"I'm gonna be okay Master...I promise," he whispered, trying to give his father some comfort, wanting to help give him strength. Praying despretely that it was going to be true, he tensed in surprise when he felt a hand on his shell, wondering briefly who it was, having been unprepared.

"SHhh Mike, it's jist me," Raph said gruffly, "Masta' Splinta', wha' wrong?"

"I am not going to be here forever...and my sons...each one of you are distraught, worried, aggravated and angry...you all must come to terms...with everything that has happened," Splinter said, touching Michelangelo's face gently, then touching Raphael's cheek where it had been broken. It still showed some bruising slightly, "You four are brothers, no matter what day, or what has been said. You must pull together!"

"He didn't tell us you were eve' dyin'!" Raph said angrily. Mikey frowned, wondering if Raph's was glaring at Don because he could feel Don wincing beside him.

"I told him not to tell you Raphael! He was only obeying my orders. If you must be angry, be angry with me!" Splinter said sternly.

Mikey spoke up, "Master...why didn't you tell us when you found out? Did...did we do something...wrong to not make you trust us?" he asked meekly, staring towards Splinter beside him.

Mikey jumped as Splinter's hand gripped his, surprising him, "No my son. I did not tell you because at that time we got the results, you and Raphael were still critical, and it was not the right time."

Mikey frowned, understanding but it still hurt, "I understand," he said, giving Splinter a hug. He tried reaching for Donnie's hand, misjudging and hitting Leo's but not realizing it, "I'm sorry Donnie."

"I'm right here Mikey, but thanks," Don said to his left, and Mikey flushed, embarassed. He tried pulling a smile on, but it faltered on his face as he let his hand drop from Leo's arm. "I'm tired...I think it's time for practice to be done..." he said, his head starting to hurt as he turned his face away.

"Yes, I believe we have done enough for the day. Leonardo, please start the tea for the afternoon and Raphael, you are free to do what you wish," he said.

Mikey listened quietly as Splinter talked to them. "Michelangelo, please help me to my room, my legs are not what they used to be," Splinter said as Don helped him to his feet.

Mikey froze in place, one arm on Splinter's other arm, "I...I can't..." scenarios running through his head as he envisioned falling, hurting, misjudging a step, while helping Splinter walk to his room.

"D..Donnie can, Master Splinter, I...I might fall...or...make you fall...I...I just can't!" Mikey said, making Don grab Splinter, before bolting from the room, yelping as he slammed a shoulder into the side of the door, but managing to stagger out. He stopped, getting his bearings before he headed into the direction of the sewers, ignoring his brothers yelling after him.


	13. Captured

A week later, Mikey sat on his bed, his fingers slowly gliding along his art pad, some tears snaking down his eyes as he felt the impressions on the paper. He remembering each part, how he pushed hard with his pencil to shade. The feel of charcoal lightly pressed against the page. His heart ached painfully as he recalled the drawing, all of his drawings in this particular art pad.

He heard footsteps stopping outside his door, and frowned when he couldn't remember whose they were. A light tapping noise was heard and he turned his head towards the door, tilting it slightly, closing his eyes.

"Come in," he finally called quietly.

"Hey Mikey, I was wondering if I can bring you to the infirmary for a checkup on your eyes?" Donnie's voice filtered through the room.

Mikey sighed, "Why bother? They don't hurt, and it's not like I can see. Why should I care if they get a film over them?" he said, leaning back against the wall, his pillows propped up, allowing him to sink into them.

"Mikey, they may be infected. You should care, because if your sight does return by some slight chance, your eyes need to be healthy," Don said, walking closer. Mikey felt the bed dip down a little, and knew Don had sat down on the edge.

"Does it matter Donnie? Weren't you the one who said getting my eyesight back would be like a miracle? Miracles don't happen to us..." Mikey said bitterly.

Don frowned, "I did say it would be a miracle Mikey, because the likelihood is slim, but it is still there...what happened to the happy go lucky turtle that looked at the glass half full?"

Mikey chuckled darkly, "Not half full bro, it's fucking empty," he said depressingly.

He heard Don inhale sharply, guessing it was from his foul language, but at the moment, he didn't give a damn. He was tired, depressed and wanting to scream.

He continued to rub against the picture, seeing images, shadows in his mind, remembering what he had been working on, and hearing Donnie shifting closer, assuming he was trying to peek at his art work, yanked it up and against his plastron, "My eyes -I mean for me only bro!" he snarled angrily, "You know that!"

"Sorry Mike. I just wanted to see..." Don replied, his voice tinged in sorrow.

Mikey glared towards him, and sighed angrily. He placed his fingers along it, tracing the outline of it before he felt the pain build in rapid waves of anger and frustration. Suddenly, he threw it against the far wall, hearing the paper hit hard and land on the ground with a soft thud.

He heard Donnie's gasp of surprise, before got to his feet. He had enough, and it was building to the point where he just wanted to scream in anger.

He got up from his bed, his hands flying along the walls, yanking down posters and pictures, throwing them to the ground. He stumbled along them, hearing broken glass when he threw down a glass picture. He heard Donnie screaming his name but he couldn't focus.

His hands move along the wall, blindly ripping down whatever they can find, and destroying it. In his mind, he could see his room; wonderful colorful posters that lined his walls, pictures he created, his painted, murals he got his brothers to help with. He threw them all down on the ground, a loud wail finally leaving his mouth as he relished destroying it all.

Mikey felt hands grabbing his arms, yanking them back sharply, and holding him still as his brothers and father came rushing into the room. He closed his eyes, letting out a yell of internal anguish and despair, before choking back his tears, crying.

"Mikey wha' da shell ya do tha' for?" Raph's angry voice sounded so loud near him. He realized it was Raph holding him in his arms, and grunted.

He struggled to get loose, feeling the panic building rapidly, his mind screaming images of being held back and he panicked, his fists clenching and he lashed out, punching Raph hard in the face.

He heard Raph scream in sudden pain and then crash to the floor, and felt his heart racing in sudden fear, "R...raphie?" he said meekly, concern flowing through him.

_He couldn't hear Raph at all. He was silent. Oh God...d..did I kill him?_

Mikey reached out and gently felt along his brother's arm, tracing his way till he found Raph's face. His fingers encountered something warm and sticky; blood.

_Oh god..._

Before he could explore further and find out where the blood was coming from he felt Donnie slap his hand away, snapping angrily. "I told you before Mikey, you can't hit Raph in the face! Dammit Mikey," he said, sounding frustrated and angry but also his voice was tinged with fear.

_Donnie was scared_.

Mikey could hear Donnie speaking to Leo, telling him to help lift Raph up and bring him to the infirmary.

"Did I...did I hurt him really bad?" he asked worriedly, wincing slightly as he got up from the ground, gaining some small cuts from the broken glass littering the floor.

"Yes Mikey, you did! Geez, don't you ever listen! Just how stupid are you to forget Raph was healing from a bad injury! Just...Just...just stay away until I figure out how badly you hurt Raph," Don said with a deep, tired sigh, "Master Splinter, can you help Mikey clean up this mess he made, and treat his injuries?"

Mikey cringed at Donnie's tone of voice, "I can do it myself Donnie. I'm not helpless!" he snapped back, his anger rising once again.

"Fine, clean up this mess, and when I get back, I expect an explanation!" Donnie snapped back, leaving the room.

It was quiet for a moment, and Mikey could sense Master Splinter standing nearby, overwhelming sorrow coming off him in waves. Mikey cringed as he felt the guilt of having hurt Raph growing in intensity, as well as how useless he was now.

"My son," and a hand touched his shoulder, making him tense and step back, "No Master Splinter...look, I'm sorry but can you just leave me alone?"

"You are distressed my son, I only wish to help," his father replied calmly.

"You can't help me Master Splinter...I can't learn from you no more, I can barely train. I keep screwing up...I even hurt my own brother...I need to think," Mikey replied, "Please, I'll clean my own room and treat my own injuries, okay?"

Master Splinter was silent for a moment, and Mikey waited patiently, knowing he would do as he asked. "Very well my son, but know that my door is always open for you. I will help you find yourself once again if you wish to."

Mikey let out a bitter laugh, before saying, "You can't find who I used to be sensei...he died a long time ago...all that's left is a useless disabled freak of a ninja who can't even see..." he waved his father away dismissively, "Just go...I ...I need to be alone... please."

He heard his father sigh deeply, before his footsteps slowly and reluctantly walked across the floor and away from his son. Mikey's body finally relaxed as Splinter left his room, and he could hear his footsteps walking away. Mikey frowned as he realized they were heading in the general direction of the infirmary and sighed deeply.

_I hope Raph's okay..._Mikey thought regretfully, before he stumbled to his dresser, pulling out his cleaning supplies he stored within, and started cleaning his room. He ignored the various cuts he had on his hands and the bottom of his feet.

_I deserve it,_ he thought, _I could have killed him..._ Mikey's hands explored the ground as he searched for the larger pieces of broken glass. Wincing as the glass sliced his hands, he accepting the pain with a strange calmness.

Mikey's thoughts were confusing, depressing and surging with pain. He wanted to go and check on Raph but knew from personal experience, never to bug Donnie when he's examining someone.

_Donnie would tell me if I really hurt him that bad, right? He_ frowned, recalling Donnie explaining to him that Raph had gotten hurt 2 weeks ago and how to be careful to not hit Raph in the face.

_Should I go and check on him?_ He wondered as he finished picking up all the big pieces of glass, wooden and ceramic items, and all his art pieces. He briefly wondered what he was throwing away, feeling bitter as he realized he wouldn't know. He was wishing he could know what he could salvage but to him, it was all black. A wave of anger and bitterness grew again and he pushed the garbage away.

_What the Hell do I do now! I hate this!_

_I can't see...I'm blind...just not stupid...but I feel stupid...I feel useless...I'm not good enough...I want to go out! I want to feel the sun on my face, and I want to feel the cool grass. I want to feel normal instead of a failure...but that's all I ever am..._

Mikey stood in the middle of his room, feeling strange and disconnected, before he dropped the stick vacuum, and hearing it make a soft thump against the carpeted floor. _I can't breathe...I can't...god...it hurts here...I...I can't breathe here...I...I want to go out...I've been here...since it happened...and I...I can't stay here anymore...I'm a danger to my family... a liability._

He stepped out of his room, trying to get his bearings. He looked at his mental map inside his head, having sharpened it since his accident and walked towards the exit.

Mikey growled as the memory of his family explaining to him he was on restrictions.

_**"Mikey, I know you want to go and see April, but it is better that you stay here. It's safer for you," Leo said gently.**_

_**Mikey stared towards where he thought Leo stood, and frowned, "But Leo, please! I...I've been stuck here since it's happened. I haven't even been outside the lair (once). You can't just keep me locked in here forever."**_

_**"We aren't Mikey, but you aren't trained enough yet, and –" and Mikey growled angrily, feeling helpless and frustrated, "NO! Look, Donnie said it would take me maybe a year or two before I can get as skilled as anyone but I've been doing pretty damn well since what happened, happened. Now I lost my sight, not my inability to be a part of this family! I should have a say in this!"**_

_**Leo started saying, "Look," when another voice interjected, stops the argument right then and there.**_

_**"Leonardo is your Leader, Michelangelo. He does this to keep you safe. You will do as your leader says. That is final," Splinter said firmly.**_

_**Mikey struggled not to glare or get angry at Splinter, wanting to scream in all entirety, feeling like he was trapped in a cage and he had no access to a key to get out. He stormed away, hiding in his room, and started crying bitter tears.**_

_They are right, it is too dangerous...I can't see anything...I can't see if there's a drop off, or debris...I...I don't know...but...I can't stay trapped...I...I can't stay there...I'm useless anyway..._

He hesitated by the door of the lair, but hearing his brothers talking and footsteps about the leave the infirmary; he quickly pushed aside his feelings of fear, and ducked out side. He grinned weakly as he lashed the lair door closed behind him, knowing it would buy him a few minutes.

His heart beat faster in sudden excitement, and as he let out his own senses, he walked confidently down the sewer tunnels. He could hear the skittering of rats running around, and the stickiness and slimy texture of the sewer floor. He winced as the cuts on the bottom of his feet burned.

Mikey's one hand glided along the sewer walls, helping to guide himself. He frowned as he sensed several bodies in the sewer, and knew it was something larger than a rat. He tensed up in sudden fear.

_It wasn't one person...it was several..._

_Crap_

His throat clenched up, and his hands moved to where he had his nunchuks but he recalled them getting taken from him in the dojo...

_**"Michelangelo, that is enough! You nearly hit Donatello with your nunchuks. Are you not trying to develop your senses?" Splinter said sharply, causing the practice to grind to a stop.**_

_**Mikey flinched at the tone, clutching his nunchuks tightly in his hands, "I'm sorry Master Splinter. I didn't mean to. I cannot hear them over the noise, so it's a little hard for me to distinguish them and listen to where I am as well..." he explained, "I'm used to working on my own.."**_

_**"That is a problem Michelangelo. I am afraid that this is a hazard, my son. I am afraid I shall have to take your weapons until your senses are sharpened enough to be able to know where your brothers are," Splinter said sadly.**_

_**Mikey's face felt like the blood was being drained, his mouth dropped open as he clutched the nunchakus close to his chest, "WHAT! No, you can't take my babies! They're mine!" he said, backing up, accidentally tripping over a corner of the mat and grunted as he hit the ground.**_

_**He could hear footsteps nearby, and his initial panic built up, the nunchuks whirling fast towards the noise near him, when he felt the chain wrap around a piece of stick, and he faltered, relaxing, "Donnie?" he asked, knowing he had a Bo staff.**_

_**"No Michelangelo, you attacked father..." he heard softly, disappointment within the voice.**_

_**Mikey felt the dread build up, and his nunchuks fell to the ground, a soft thunking sound, the chain clanging slightly, "I'm sorry Master Splinter, I'll try harder, I swear!"**_

_**"I am sorry Michelangelo, but your awareness must be worked upon before you may have these back," Splinter said softly.**_

_**"I...I said I was sorry," Mikey whispered, choking as he heard his nunchuks picked up, the sound of a wooden box being opened, and in his head, he could see the box of weapons within, and his nunchuks added to the mix.**_

_**"I know my son, but this is not the first time you have tried attacking us with your weapons. It is now your seventh attempt...and I believe relieving you of your weapons will help you on your path," Splinter said gently, before announcing, "Practice is over for the day. Michelangelo, please, let us meditate."**_

Mikey felt the fear increase as his hands checked his belt, hoping for some shruikens or a kunai dagger but Splinter took those as well.

He groaned, stepping back, his head darting side to side, trying to figure out how many of them were around. _Crap...who are these guys?_ He thought, trembling as he felt them surround him.

"Oh, what's a turtle doing in the sewers...must be sewer waste..." one commented nastily.

Mikey shot a glare in his direction, "I am not!"

"Wait guys, look at the things' eyes. They're...white!" one exclaimed, and Mikey yelped as strong fingers suddenly grasp his arms, and he yelped in pain.

He felt himself being jerked forward, the grip bruising his arms as another hand gripped his head, stilling it. He growled, wriggling as he felt something pry his eye open and laughter exploded all over. His anger grew at the jeering taunts, his arms pushing the guy who held him away.

Mikey heard him hit the sewer wall and he turned to run, only to run into another guy, feeling the brush of a fist against his cheek. He cried out at the bruising throb against his cheek.

_Owwww, that hurt_ he thought, pulling his fist as he tried striking out, only to hit air.

He stumbled, slightly off balance as they laughed and joked, pushing Mikey randomly, against the wall and into the ground. Mikey cried out at each kick and punch, only managing one possible hit to every third against him.

Mikey yelp loudly as one kick drove him to his hands and knees. His bad leg was starting to throb, having not been used to using it so much. He could feel blood dripping down it as he looked up blindly at his attackers.

"I think Mistress Karai would enjoy toying with the blind turtle...it is a lot of fun..." one nearby mutters darkly.

Mikey tensed up, hearing the name made him realize that he was fighting against the Foot Ninja's and his heart raced even harder. He groaned as he pushed himself to his feet, and barreled into one guy, knocking him down. He started running as fast as he could, stumbling and falling over debris and slipping in slime as he went.

He grunted as he heard them chasing him, laughter rang about him as he slam into something. Each time he tripped or fell, Mikey heard them laugh and ridicule him. Tears filled his dead eyes as he pushed himself up, not sensing a Bo Staff in front of him, tripping over it.

They burst into maniacal laughter again, making Mikey cringe as he got back up. _I really want to go home now...the guys were right...I was better off locked in at home._..."Leave me alone!" Mikey beg and whimpered pathetically.

"Awww, is the blind little turtle too tired and scared?" One mocked as he slammed something hard into Mikey's side.

Mikey grunted, sliding to the ground. He panted hard, exhausted and pushed past his limit. His head was throbbing painfully, he yelped out in pain as something slammed into his side again, causing his ribs seem to seize and constrict his airway, making him gasp in harsh breathes, trying to breathe.

"Let's get him back to Mistress Karai." He heard one say and sense him moving closer. Mikey kicked out blindly, smirking when he hear one yelp in pain.

_Bull-eye's!_

Something hard then slammed into the back of his head and the loud cracking sound it made him cry out in pain. He suddenly felt very tired; his body kept on getting heavier and heavier. The world felt like it was spinning around him.

Mikey whimper once more as something else hit his head hard and he knew nothing more...

* * *

><p>Mikey's POV<p>

When he woke up, it was to cold water in my face, shocking his body, making him shiver. _My eyes snap open and once again - surprise, surprise - I couldn't see. It's black and I'm confused. What the shell happened?_

Someone kicked him hard in the side and he yelped, scurrying away. His hands hit concrete._.._cold concrete._._ and he slapped his hands around, exploring slightly. _Where the shell am I?_

_There are people around...but...I'm not sure...if feels like too much..._His body hurt, his head throbbed painfully in his skill, making it difficult to think and focus.

_I can feel cold concrete...the only places that have concrete is the garage of the warehouse...I think..._

"Donnie?" He called out bleak hopefulness, trying to stay calm.

A harsh bitter laughter from his right startled him, making him jump up slightly. He could hear laughter around the room, making Mikey cringe away, "Guess again!" a harsh female voice said smugly.

_Ohhhh crap..."_K...Karai!" He called out shakily, his head tilted slightly in her direction, "H...how did I get here?"

"My ninjas brought you to me. They told me that there was a blind turtle underground, frankly, I didn't dare believe it," she said with a chuckle, "Personal, I thought you had died months ago!"

Mikey scowled in her direction, "Well I didn't!" he snarled back, furious and angry.

"Tch, Tch, naughty little turtle," she mocked with a laughing lilt to her voice, "Ninja's, show this turtle some manners," she said.

Mikey tensed as he heard footsteps coming closer and scurried backwards. He winced as his shell hit the far wall first and as he was sensing the warm bodies moving closer, he growled angrily, wanting to make them uneasy.

He remembered Raph saying that growling at a punk or a ninja made them uneasy when they recalled they were animals first and instincts. He heard a few slight falters as he growled angrily, trying to figure out where they were as the rapids bodies kept moving, confusing him.

Mikey tensed, unsure of their movements, and when he felt hands grab him, he batted the hands away. Suddenly, something was pressed against his left arm, right above his elbow and he screamed at the sudden pain, his body convulsing painfully as he tried curling up.

_Oh crap, crap, fuck, get it off, get it off!_ He whimpering as he felt his body shaking violently as the electricity flew through his system.

A few minutes later, the pain left his arm, and he whimpered, crying slightly as he curled up. He vaguely heard laughter and something was dragged along the ground, sounding like chains. He bit his lip as he tried pulling his arms and legs up to back away, but he was too weak.

"You will listen now Michelangelo," Karai said sternly, moving closer, her footsteps sharp as she stepped in front of him, leaning over.

Mikey tensed as he felt her hands touch his shoulders, and then his upper neck, and pushed her away in a sudden burst of strength, grunting feebly as he rolled away, "No!" he gasped.

_There ain't no way in Hell is Karai ever touching me! LEO! RAPH! DON! Now would be a great time to come and rescue me...you will rescue me...right?_ he thought as he tried finding a doorway with his hands.

Karai yelled something and Mikey felt hands gripping his arms down, pushing him onto his stomach and he screamed and struggled, before the sound of chains sounded closer, and something was wrapped tightly around his throat.

_It's a chain..._He thought weakly as he heard clicks behind him, the sound of a key turning and whimpered, wanting to know what was going on.

Suddenly the smell of thick leather was being added around his throat and he gasped as it dug into his skin, pressing the cool chain around his throat securely. He felt a tug against it, gasping as it cut off his air.

_What the Shell! He_ thought rapidly, his hands darting up to pull it loose but his hands felt smooth leather but felt the slight bulge underneath that he knew was the chain.

"Karai?" he gasped out, demanding answers as his hands explored the leather band, trying to figure out a way to get it off. It was thick and hard, the ends smooth and he wasn't able to fit his fingers even underneath the band, it was so tight against his throat, making breathing slightly difficult.

"This is a choke collar. It is good for animals who shall learn to obey their masters!" she said laughing, pulling the collar tightly.

Mikey gasped as he felt the chain tightened suddenly around his throat but the leather wasn't affected. The chain was the only thing that moved as his hands tried frantically to grab the chain, to stop it from choking him, but the leather blocked his efforts. Karai pulled the chain along the room, and it hurt, caushing him to gasp and choke and the only way for it to stop, was to crawl forward and follow Karai. As he crawled after her, his head slumped down in shame and remorse, as he heard the room explode in laughter.

"That's a good pet," she said chuckling as Mikey stayed on his hands and knees, exhausted and breathing heavily. He jerked his head away when he felt Karai's hand pet his head, and one hand reached out, yanking Karai's leg down towards him, and jumped on her. He felt the chain close tight against his throat, his airway completely crushed and he couldn't breathe.

He forgot what he was doing as the chain tightened painfully around his throat, making him gag and cough. His hands went to his throat, falling to the ground, gasping for air as the collar tightened around his throat further.

He could hear Karai's cruel laughter, as bitter tears built in his eyes as he struggled to take in a desperate breathe. He was growing dizzy and weak; his chest heaving as he barely got enough air.

He crawled up on the floor, hearing the people start leaving, grunting weakly as a few took some kicks in, leaving Mikey there.

The last to leave was Karai. Mikey could smell her hair spray and cursed having to develop his sense of smell was crucial to him learning to adapt. He was still learning on how to identify the many different scents, and his stomach clenched in neasea when he smelled the strawberry vanilla from her hair, and the rose petal from her perfume.

"You will be here a long time Michelangelo. Your family shall not find you again," Karai said smugly.

_She sounds very confident about that..._ Mikey thought warily and said rasply, "And why is that?" he asked weakly, as he pushed himself against the wall, getting to his feet.

"You are no longer in New York City," she stated with a grin.

Mikey's eyes widened, showing his surprise as he stiffened, _W...where am I then?_ And didn't realize he said that outloud.

"It does not matter but for your information, you are on an island...a private island..." she said slyly.

Mikey's heart raced with sudden fear and surprise and he wanted to scream at the injustice of it._ He couldn't run away even if he tried...he'd get lost_.

_"Crap.."._ he said again, finding comfort in saying that word for some strange reason.

His head shot up as he heard Karai's next words, "You need a proper name...," she said, pausing.

Mikey waited patiently, gaining back his strength over his breathing, waiting for Karai's ending comment, knowing she can't resist. _It's like in every bad persons guide book. Spill what you will do to your enemies even though they can get free...but...I won't get free...will I?_

"I believe you a good for nothing sad excuse for a ninja but I am pleased my ninja's captured you...but your name is no longer appropriate for an animal..." she said with a malicious chuckle, "You are now...called Useless..." Karai said pleased.

Mikey scowled at the name, furious, snapping angrily, "I won't answer anything except Michelangelo from you Karai!"

Mikey frowned at the soft chuckling he could hear, and wished more than ever he could see his rival's face, "You will Useless. I will break your will..." He could hear something clicking and a soft jerk on the leash attached to the back of his throat, before the footsteps soon travelled out of his cell, the door shutting, the lock turning and the last of footsteps disappearing.

He stood up, planning to walk over to where he heard the door shut, when he gasped suddenly as the chain around his throat, tightening slightly.

_Dammit, I can't even reach the damn door! _He thought angrily, before flopping down to the ground. The chain suddenly yanked hard around his throat as he did that, making him gasp and wheeze, shooting up to his knees and panting as he realized the chain once more tightened painfully around his throat.

_Man, I can't even sit down..._

_I can only sit on my knees...crap...I'm so dizzy and tired..._

_Damn..._

_I'm so screwed..._

_My brothers were right,_

_Karai is right..._

_I am useless..._


	14. Agony

At the Lair:

"I don't care Fearless, I'm sick and tired of ya restrictin' Mikey all da time! He ain't useless and ya, he may need more protection 'ight now, but he's our bro!" Raph said angrily from his bed in the infirmary, glaring at Leo.

"Look Raph, I hate this as much as you, but Mikey needs constant supervision when we are out. If we are ambushed, how can we guarantee his safety?" Leo countered with a sigh as he sat down in a nearby chair, rubbing his forehead, "Look, right now is not the time to be discussing this! You just woke up!"

Raph growled, "Ya, and I noticed Mikey ain't here. Ya guys talk ta 'im aft'a he punched me?"

Don shook his head, turning angrily, "No, of course not! He punched you Raph! Even after I told him about your injuries and that it could kill you but he didn't even listen!"

Raph shook his head, leaning back in his bed as he gazed around once more, seeing Splinter sleeping in a nearby bed, "Wha' happened ta Splinter?"

Don sighed, looking at their father, "He said he was tired and his head was pounding so I made him lie down and take some more medicine...he doesn't have much longer left...three weeks to a month at the most..."

Leo stood, starting to pace, "We need to figure out a plan or something to help Mikey deal with everything...lately...he's been so angry...today was the first time in a long time I seen him really react to being blind and everything."

"Can ya blame him Leo?" Raph muttered, closing his own eyes since the lights were starting to hurt his eyes, "We got 'im locked up in the golden cage. He ain't allowed ta fight wit us, or use his weapons...how would ya feel if tha' happened ta you?"

There was silence for a few minutes as they realized they may have done stuff the wrong way. Their weapons was a part of them, a true part of them they work and mastered as they grew up. Being isolated in the lair was another factor.

"How can we let him out guys?" Leo finally asked, his voice lost.

"Maybe we can train him to be able to sense other things..." Don said slowly, "He is getting better, just...we aren't able to hone his training. We don't know how."

"Well, can't he jist be like tha' blind guy from tha' movie...wha' was tha' called again?" Raph said roughly, his voice sounding as if he was confused.

"You mean Dare Devil!?" Don asked surprised, before his eyes flashed with sudden inspiration, "Sonar! Why didn't I think of that?" he said, before he started muttering to himself, "That could work. He was having no trouble on his own, it was the problem that he couldn't detect others so close to him that was the problem...hmmmm," Don said, before he started towards the door.

"Hey Don, where are you going?" Leo asked, looking panicked for a second as he darted over, grabbing his arm, "What's going through that brain of yours?"

"Sonar...but I need to go and research this...Leo, go and make sure Mikey actually patched himself up right, and Raph, stay in bed, please!?" Don said before he shimmied free from Leo's hand and left the lair.

"Guess Donnie got inspired," Leo said, a smile growing on his face.

"'Bout time, now git Mikey in 'ere, I need ta talk ta 'im before he gets all guilted up," Raph said tiredly.

Leo smiled, "Alright, I'll be right back," and he left the room. He quickly was outside Mikey's room, knocking gently at the door. Frowning as he heard no answer, he slowly opened the door, "Mike, it's Leo," he called out, his eyes roaming the room.

_Well, he cleaned it...mostly...I need to work on him getting all the blood stains out...I think we have to replace the carpet now..._ he thought vaguely as he glanced around. _That's strange, Mikey isn't in here... where could he be?_

It took a moment for him to think but seeing the blood he realized, _Maybe he went to clean up in the bathroom..._ and quickly headed that way, but found no sign of his little brother.

His heart started to race as he hurried room to room, finding no sign of Mikey. Finally he burst into Don's lab, his heart pounding with fear as he pulled Donnie from the computer, "I can't find Mikey!" he said quickly, frazzled, his eyes wide with fear.

"What do you mean you can't find him? He's in the lair somewhere, isn't he?" Don said, eyes wide with his own fear, before he hurriedly moved the computer and started tapping on the keyboard. Suddenly the screens on all four computers changed, showing different exits of the lair.

Leo watched dry-mouthed as the time went backwards and cried out, "There he is!" he said pointing at the slightly blurred figure of his little brother hurrying through the exit of the lair.

"Why the Shell did he leave the lair!?" Leo burst out angrily, "He should know better than that!"

"He's tryin' ta escape….Don, can ya find him in tha tunnels?" Raph asked, holding onto the edge of the computer chair, slightly exhausted from running from his bed.

Don tapped on the keyboards frantically, trying to find his little brother. They watched as Don finally found the right camera, watching in horror and feeling sick, as these Foot Ninjas mocked their brother as they fought him.

"We got to get 'im back," Leo said in a deadly voice, "There is no honor fighting one who cannot fight back!"

"I'm there," Raph said eagerly, about to run to his room but Don reached out, grabbing his arm to stop him from leaving the room, "No, you can't go Raph. One punch and you're dead. You cannot go!"

"But Donnie, tha' is Mikey tha' is out there! I ain't gonna jist stay behind while you guys go get 'im, you need help!" Raph said furiously.

"You have to! If you do get hit, you'd only have minutes...possible minutes that I can save you in! What if we're still fighting and you're down and out!? If I don't get to you, then you are dead!" Don said sternly, "I can't lose you too!"

Raph was astounded by Don's words, giving Don a rough hug to calm him, "Whoa, it's okay Donnie...I get it..." he paused, thinking before he stated angrily, "Okay...fine...then I'm helpin' plannin' and your gunna get a bunch of back up!"

Don nodded, "Thanks Raph...if...if things were different, I would have you by my side."

"I can handle missin' one fight as long as Mikey's home," Raph said, "but first, lets get a hold of Casey and April...maybe Leatherhead can help too..."

They each reached for their shell cell and dialled their friends...

* * *

><p>Back to Mikey<p>

Meanwhile, back in the cell, Mikey's body was cramping in agony. Everything hurt with having to stay upright for so long, and the cool air was making it hard to get comfortable.

_Guys...please...find me...I...I want to go home..._

He felt his head drooping forward as his body once again tried to collapse forward, the collar immediately tightening tightly around his throat, making his eyes snap open as he hurried back upward, tears rolling down his cheeks as he breathed deeply.

_How...much longer...will...she do this..._ he thought tiredly, wishing he wasn't so tired, or his throat getting so sore. He yawned, cursing his body, his legs cramping painfully made him moan slightly.

He jumped as he heard the sound of metal moving, _the door! _and frowned as the room felt different. The air seemed to lighten for a moment before the clang of the metal thing sounded once more. That lightened feeling was gone.

Mikey shivered as he brought his hands to his arms, rubbing them slightly. He wished he could walk around. Suddenly, he could hear a skittering sound along the floor, and a hissing sound and he tensed up in sudden fear.

"W...who...w..who there?" he stuttered out, his voice barely a hoarse whisper.

The sound grew closer and he frowned as he attempted to back up but the leash no longer moved around the room. It stayed in place, limiting his movement.

Mikey felt himself starting to panic, his breathing started to get worse as he tried moving somewhere else. He gasped, inhaling sharply when he felt something suddenly fall on him, realizing it was cold water that had splashed on him from above.

"K..karai...wh...what was that?" he yelped out, his blank eyes darting everywhere as he used his hand to wipe the liquid from his eyes. He was thirsty, so he licked the water from his hand, but frowned when he tasted the sugar in the water. He winced, kneeling as he started to shiver from the cold water and exhaustion.

"W...why did you...you put sugar into the w...water?" he stuttered out, confused and perplexed. He didn't know what to make of it and his anxiety increased more so when he heard the skittering sound come closer.

Suddenly he felt something crawl over the back part of his leg, he had been kneeling on the floor still and he yelped again, this time jumping to his feet.

His legs and the quick movement sent agony over his bruised body, and making his ribs feel like they were being stabbed.

His breathing increased and he was panting harshly as he felt something else crawl over his foot. He screamed as he felt wet fur and whiskers, kicking the thing away.

_RATS!_ He shivered in remembrance of the Rat King when he was younger. He recalled the thousands of rats that tried to eat him and tried to yank free but the leash tightened around his throat as he tried moving, coughing weakly as he tried to move away.

He suddenly heard Karai laughing loudly all around him, the walls echoed with her laugh, and he tensed up in fear. He heard the sound of the door opening, "K...Karai?" he called out angrily, furious she was doing this, "Stop this!" he demanded.

The laughter continued but he heard the sounds of something being thrown in the air and the sound of broken glass. His throat seemed to tighten all of a sudden and he froze in place, not sure what just happened, gasping for breath. He was getting dizzy and weak, his body shaking with the effort to breathe.

He could hear a loud hissing sound, and the sounds of many little claws against the cement floor, making his heart pound in his chest.

The door clanged shut again after a few more things whistled through the air, the sound of something have been thrown seem loud to his ears. He cried out in fear as he heard it crashed and break apart against the ground.

Mikey gasped as his leash was suddenly loose and he fell to the ground with a pained cry, his legs and hands landing on broken glass.

He screamed again in pain as he felt bugs crawling all around him. _It feels like cockroaches!_ He thought with a disgusted whimper as they tried crawling over his legs. He felt himself shivering in disgust and loathing, slapping them frantically away.

He scrambled to his feet, yelping in pain as his feet came into contact with the broken shards, impaling himself on them. He felt tears building up as he scrambled backwards, only to come into contact with some type of bugs and then the rats.

_Crap, now I know why Raph's so scared of these things...I can't even see them but they sound freaky!_

Mikey bit his lip, trying to stop himself from screaming and praying his brothers would save him soon.

He was running slowly, his legs shaking with exertion as he jogged around the room, his head drooping forward as he tried staving off sleep. He felt a cry leave his hoarse mouth as he finally just collapse to the ground, not even reacting as the glass pierced his skin, making small oozing wounds.

Mikey curled up into a ball, whimpering as he felt the claws of a rat crawl over him, yelping as one bit his upper shoulder. He shook slightly to dislodge the rat, but he was too tired to even move. His eyes closed and his body shut down, cockroaches and rats crawling all over him, biting his skin...

* * *

><p><em>Days Passed:<em>

_It's dark...it's always dark...guys...help me...where are you? _Mikey glanced around warily, the darkness seem to engulf him, almost wrapping him in the odd sense that it wasn't real. It felt unreal being in the room.

He could hear the rats hissing, screeching and the sounds of their claws seem to echo loudly in his ears. No matter how many he killed, they were constantly around him, always there.

He hated rats.

Mikey whimpered as he heard the sounds of skittering feet approaching him and he hurried backwards not wanting to feel the disgusting fur of one. One ventured too close and he grabbed it with one hand.

He heard the rat screeching in his hands, the small body wriggling. He could feel the small ribs under his palm and the whiskers. He shuddered as he remembered Father, angry and helpless tears built in his eyes and he threw it hard against the wall.

A loud THUNK was heard, and it echoed almost as it made a splat against the ground. Mikey felt queasy when he heard the sound of the breaking bones. He shuddered, scrambling into a corner as he heard the rats squeaks and the hissing of the cockroaches.

Mikey wondered how long he was in there. He heard the sounds of metal creaking upwards and he scrambled towards the sound, knowing that was the food he was given. Time was skewed to him, but he knew he had been there for weeks at least. He would scratch the wall when his bucket of filth was taken out.

He never knew when they came to empty it. It was emptied when he was asleep or passed out. They were cruel though, because after each time they emptied it, they would throw down more broken glass and he would wake up to it.

He was starving slowly and there had been no contact with anyone the whole time he was there. All he had for company were the rats and cockroaches and as much as he detested them, he grew comfortable around them most of the time.

His hands moved forward, blindly finding the bucket half filled with pellets and what felt like lettuce and carrots. It wasn't much, scraps mostly; and half rotten but he stuffed it in his mouth anyway.

_Need to eat...keep strong..._ and as much as he despised the pellets, he ate them because the rats would eat them it if he didn't.

He smelled awful, he knew that. _Karai must not care about her prisoners...I wonder where the guys are...they haven't come yet...maybe they can't find me..._

Filth covered his body, and his sense of smell was skewed. He could smell the rats and cockroaches, the filth they left behind, as well as the bucket he had found in his cell, which held his own filth, and he knew Karai was planning this.

_Karai wanted him to live like an animal and be dependent on her. _

Mikey vowed that wouldn't happen.

_He would survive._

He growled when he heard the swarm of rats and cockroaches near him. He stopped, surprised..._Why did I growl?_ He thought as he pulled away from the food for a moment in thought.

Mikey gasped in surprise as the rats started climbing on him, used to his smell and his reactions, and tried going into the bucket.

His reaction was instantaneous.

He growled in anger, jumping to his feet, holding the bucket up and away from them, yanking the contents out before stuffing them into his mouth. _This is my food!_

Mikey knew Karai didn't feed him often.

Sometimes it was days before he got food, but when he did, he had to fight for it.

_Fuck off, this is mine! Mine! _He thought growling angrily, kicking the rats and cockroaches away as he backed up. _This is mine!_

Suddenly laughter poured into the room and he jumped, the bucket falling from his arms as he whirled around confused, hands covering his ears. _Where is it coming from?_

He was still chewing his food when he realized he dropped his bucket. Dropping to the ground to his knees, his hands reached out for the bucket frantically, the laughter that continued around him was ignored as he searched for his food.

_Rats,_ he knew, _would scavenge quickly, making a meal of vegetables or his pellets. It would be gone in seconds. Cockroaches would swarm on them as well._ His hands slapped the concrete ground as he searched, "NO, where is it!?" he cried out hoarsely, frantic with fear.

His hands suddenly hit something hard and knew it was his bucket and he pulled it closer to him, heart beating. He quickly pulled it up, hands diving within where the food was and nearly cried in frustration as it was empty.

"KARAI! GIVE ME SOME FOOD!" he screamed suddenly, anger and frustration building. He was sick of this cage where he lived with the rats and cockroaches, now at ease with them crawling on him. He knew the rats chewed parts of his flesh off and he attacked most of them. They now avoided biting him.

Mikey knew he had to dress the wounds to prevent himself getting sick. He used the water he was given, or his own saliva to clean the wounds. _He hated having to act like an animal but he had no other choice. He needed to clean them._

"I want to go home..." Mikey whispered, he was feeling lost in this cage, feeling like a caged animal that once was wild. _I'm losing...I'm losing who I was..._

The sound of the door screeching open made his heart beat faster and faster and he crouched down low, legs back as he posed to strike the one in front of him. _He knew he was right there! Right in front of him... he smells clean...and he was drinking coffee...just like Donnie. _

Hope filled him for just a brief second, thinking it was his brother who finally came to rescue him.

"Bad turtle...sit," the man spoke sternly, a slight Japanese accent.

His heart sank painfully, shattering into pieces as he backed up. Tears built in his eyes as he turned his head towards the man, feeling hollow. Then his mind registered the man's words.

_I am not a dog!_ Mikey thought bristling as a growl escaped his notice. He tensed up, his legs coiling as he heard the man step into the room.

_He's dead!_

Mikey continued to growl menacingly as he advanced on the man, using his sense of smell to find him. His hands moving rapidly as he ran forward, grasping the man's outfit tightly. He could feel the smooth material of cotton and tugged hard, tossing him backwards. He heard the sound of the body hitting the wall and the man groaning.

_YES! I DID IT!_

Mikey ran through the open door, he could smell cleaner air. His hands felt the walls as he ran down the hallway, wondering what way to go.

_Crap...what way do I go?_

He hit a door, his hand grasping wildly for the doorknob before he found it, and he yanked it open. He grinned when he smelled salt water.

_That's outside!_ He thought eagerly as he darted out.

He could feel the difference beneath his feet as he touched dirt and rocks. He felt this immense pride that he had escaped.

_See I knew it! I could do it!_ He thought as he walked forward slowly, pride in his heart.

Suddenly he heard laughter behind him and he whirled around, his fists trying to hit whoever was behind him. But his hands hit air and he stumbled slightly. His heart sank when he realized he hadn't escaped.

He cringed at the mocking laughter that followed and backed up, hoping to find something to help him. He yelped as the back of his foot his something sharp and fell down hard. Angry tears filled his clouded eyes as he heard the laughter that had burst out at his fall.

Mocking, insulting laughter that stung his ears and made his heart throb with hurt.

_Bastards!_

Landing on his shell, he scrambled to his side, half crawling, half scrambling as he got to his feet, wincing as he tore open several cuts and scratches.

His fear flared as he realized there was more than one person around. "What's going on?" he asked roughly, trying to control the fear that was apparent in his voice.

He heard someone step forward and wondered who it was. _He was worried when he realized he didn't know how many people were around him. He wasn't on wooden floor or even concrete where he could sense how many people were around by the vibrations._

_Here...he was on sand...and couldn't pick up any vibrations or anything...and realized in an instance that he was out of his element._

"Useless...what are you doing out of your home?" Karai said mockingly, "your friends miss you."

"That's not my home Karai, or my name, and you know that!" Mikey snarled angrily, a glare on his face. He hoped he was staring where he thought she was.

"I'm over here Useless..." she said mockingly, a laughing lilt to her voice as she continued to speak, "but if you didn't like that home, then I shall find you another if you wish," she said. Mikey could smell her Jasmine and Lavender perfume and felt sick inside. He hated that smell now.

"I want to be let go!" he demanded, fists clenched.

Suddenly he heard something whistling through the air and suddenly he could feel scratchy rope that wrapped around his arms, pulling tight on his arms, pinning them to his sides.

He started to struggle and a smooth nylon cord brushed over his head, wrapping around his throat and pulled tightly.

He tried to scream as the nylon cord tightened around his throat, making him gasp for air. He struggled to pull it off, choking gasps were heard as he yanked his head side to side, trying to dislodge it.

Mikey struggled to get free, choking in gasps as he was subdued to the ground. _What the hell do they have on me?_ He thought frantically as he was being choked.

He couldn't get free and as darkness overcame him, he felt his eyes slowly close. _Thank God...maybe they finally killed me..._and he knew no more.


End file.
